Monday, November 2, 2009

Short and fat y'all...it's a curse!!!

I spent two days this weekend shopping for long pants. I'm a capri wearing girl y'all. I am short and fat and I have short legs. I was cursed with big boobies and short legs. The breast reduction fixed the boobie issue but I don't think there is a fix for my short legs. Now, the fatness, I could certainly fix if I would, hmmm I dunno, PUT THE FORK DOWN and maybe just maybe, do some damn excercising...but uhmm yeah, I haven't done that yet. Most days I embrace my fatness and I love myself, other days, not so much, but let's pretend to focus on the love my fatness days...mmmkay??? I have tons of capris, casual ones, dress or office wear capris...I love me some capris, but it's getting "cold" down here and so I decided I need some dress pants and some shoes that cover my whole foot instead of the sandals or strappy heels I wear with all those capris.

Y'all, WTF is wrong with clothing makers??? Do they firmly believe that all fat people are TALL??? I mean, shit, I went to probably 6 stores. I ended up with the following:

1 pair of khaki pants, too big in the butt but the perfect length
1 pair of dress jean trousers, fits fine, too long but doable
1 pair of brown dress pants, seem to fit all over including the length
1 pair of black dress pants that fit me but are too damn long.

And don't even get me started on those wide leg pants...WTF is that about??? I could fit a small child under the legs of most of these pants.

How insane is it that I have to have el cheapo pants tailored? I mean, even those places that carry fat chick pants in petite have issues. One, the selection is minimal and two most of them were too long or too short.

I hate pants and I think I'll return all of them and continue to wear my capris. I'll just have to find full shoes that look good with them or get some cute boots to go with them. The major issue with the capris I do own, and there always is an issue with me right, is that all of them are too big. I can pull all of my pants down without undoing them and I walk around pulling them up all the time plus the work wife says it looks like I'm carrying a load of shit in my pants....so WTF is a girl to do? Go buy smaller capri pants you say???? WELLL, low and behold, the entire state of Texas believes that it is TOO COLD to sell capri pants right now, so there weren't any of those available either.

I'm ready to quit my job and hang out at home due to lack of clothing options or join a nudist colony, except my short fat self would scare them all away!!!

6 comments:

  1. I feel the same way when I go shopping for pants

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  2. I hate shopping for clothes. I'm short too. I'm stuck somewhere between the junior and misses departments. If I shop in the juniors I look like an almost 40 year old trying to look young and if I shop in the misses, I feel like my mom's twin sister and everything is ALWAYS too long!

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  3. Margaret...I decided this morning that I'm taking all of them back, it's too much work. My toes can just be cold for the few minutes that I'm actually outside.

    Brandi...I posted way back when I started my blog about grown women dressing like teenage girls...LOL! You don't strike me as that kind of dresser. I just saw the cutest outfits at JC Penney's in the petite section, too bad they don't make fat chick clothes in the petite section, cuz I'd be looking great! LOL

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  4. LOL!!

    I have a similar issue. I'm not fat, but I carry my weight in my middle. My butt and legs are pretty thin, however, to get clothes to fit my middle, I usually have a saggy backside (I should clarify...the pants sag on my backside...I do NOT have a saggy backside!!).

    And wide leg don't work for me either!!

    I'm 5'4" and I don't think that's exceptionally short, however, I can't buy dress pants that fit me either. No matter what, they need to be hemmed. It's a freaking conspiracy!!

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  5. 1st off, people reading this are going to think you are short & fat ... you are barely vertically challenged with maybea few extra handfuls ... but of course the clothes designers think that ALL women that have hips like mine are 6 feet tall. I have to get ALL my pants hemmed. Pants that would fit in length would never pass my thighs .. and I know you know what I'm talking about, you took the pic of me in the slide where my hips look 70inches wide!


    Have you read these yet? LMAO

    http://stacyinprogress.blogspot.com/2009/09/pre-blogger-blogs-i-here-and-i-know-how.html

    http://stacyinprogress.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-fit-into-my-fat-pants-today.html

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  6. Girlie... that is my biggest complaint! I can't get anything that fits my butt and thighs that isn't at least a foot too long! I went through my school years constantly rolling up my jeans.

    The only thing I've found that semi-works is "pedal-pushers". Where they're not as short as capris, but not as long as regular pants. I found a decent selection at Kohl's...

    But I hear ya - I'm always pulling up my pants. And I'm not about to wear a SKIRT!

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