Friday, February 19, 2010

Letters of Intent

Head on over to Julie's place, she's not feeling too well, pick up her button, post your letters, and link up. Doing so will surely guarantee her instant wellness, I just know it!!! This one's for you Julie!


Letters of Intent


Dear glass cake pan,
Did you have to fall on my foot??? It hurt so bad and it still hurts and I look like an idiot at work with Girlkid's electric blue sports tape on my foot and sandals when it was 40 out this morning. Not too mention these sandals are white, which apparently gives others permission to tell me that I'm breaking EVERY southern law in the universe by wearing white shoes after Labor Day and before Easter. I happen to think that is a very stupid rule and I break it often, but today, I just don't have the engery to be funny about it to people. I have pain, I'm tired, and I just can't be pleasant about it.

Sincerely,
Hurting Aunt Crazy

Dear work wife,
DID YOU READ MY BLOG???

p.s. I'd rather be BS than Puddin...just sayin!!!

Love,
Work Wife Aunt Crazy

Dear work husband,
What you did to me yesterday was just mean, MEAN. I mean, it was funny to answer the phone and hear that siren blaring and I immediately knew it was you and I waited for you to speak to me, but you just hung up. So NATURALLY when my phone rang IMMEDIATELY after you hung up on me, I thought it was YOU, and when the voice on the other end just said hello and sounded a lot like you, and I said "kiss my ass" and the poor man on the other end of the line just sat there in silence, and then I had to say hello and he told me my boss had instructed him to call me about something, I could have fucking died right there on the spot. Now, I realize this isn't entirely your fault but you know how I roll, so take your "thunder" and shove it because I was playing with you and you made me look like an ASS.

p.s. It's ok though cuz I still heart you no matter what!!! Even if you have most likely found a REAL wife, I'll still heart you but only if I'm invited to the wedding.

Love,
Work Wife Aunt Crazy

Dear Uncle Bubba,
I love you, I really do, but it's NOT NICE to laugh at me when I'm injured. It's really not nice to not help me to the front door to smoke a cigarette when I'm in pain and it's just downright mean to tell me I don't need it since I'm hurt. You forced me to yell at you that I wanted the damn smoke to help with my damn pain. It was really even more mean when you laughed at me more when I asked you to help me limp to the bathroom so that I didn't pee on myself. It was just plain awful of you to laugh at me trying to hobble by myself to the potty. For future reference, it's not right to laugh at people when they hurt, the nice thing for you to do is be symapthetic. ok???

Love,
Aunt Crazy - your real life wife

8 comments:

  1. Oh man. I UNDERSTAND foot pain and I feel for ya'. I would not be making fun of your choice in sandals, and I would not be laughing at your expense when you need to go potty but can't manage to get there. I'm so sorry you hurt! Are you sure you didn't chip a bone or anything?

    Seriously- the phone prank...it turned out to be 20 times better than work husband ever anticipated! Bawahahahahaha

    Thanks for linking up!

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  2. 1. Sorry about your foot...ouch!
    2. "Kiss My Ass"???...you made me snort. Outloud
    3. Karma is a mean, pissed off woman sometimes. He better watch it.

    Hope your weekend is better than the end of your week!

    PS: You're a Southern girl ~ you know better! White shoes...tsk, tsk.

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  3. don't know whether to laugh or cry bout this one????? LOWHAAAA!!!!Hope your foot feels better,and kiss Uncle Buba that phone prank was priceless....ROFL

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  4. Mr. Daddy...the work husband is a different husband than Uncle Bubba, although I'm sure Uncle Bubba is more than capable of pulling a phone prank on me like that.

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  5. I've heard that the rule about white doesn't apply anymore, but being the good southern girl that I am, I still can't bring myself to break it. Sorry about the foot. I bet it hurts worse than my wounded pride.

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  6. I have an award for you at my blog

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  7. These Husbands need to realize that one day they will need us and we will just stand there and laugh!!

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  8. OH my gosh! The phone thing... I just can't get over the phone thing!

    Am I just grateful that I have an excuse to never have to be on the phone?

    You have to admit, that was pretty amazing timing :)

    (Thanks for the comment on that post that I had to yank. I appreciate it - hoping this crap is over soon)

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