Friday, April 23, 2010

Letters of Intent

It's Friday and time for Letters of Intent courtesy of Julie over at Foursons. Click the button to read her letter, to read other blogger letters, and to grab the code to put on your LOI, and then link up...easy peasy people, easy peasy.


Dear lady in the red Corvette,
While I think it's GREAT that you drive a bad ass car, I do not, under any circumstances, think it's GREAT that you choose to drive 15 miles UNDER the fucking speed limit. Seriously, it's called RUSH HOUR for a damn reason, people are rushing to work...DUH!!! The pedal on the right is the one you need to push, HARD, so your bad ass car will go the damn speed limit. Got it? Good!

Aunt Crazy who is perpetually late and hates slow pokes

Dear school bus driver,
When you drive on the 610 loop, there is a lot of traffic. The Westheimer exit has it's OWN LANE and it's OWN EXIT ramp. Prepare, plan ahead, get the hell in the right lane a half mile BEFORE the exit, not 20 feet before the exit, while cutting me off. Not only do I not want you to crash into me, I damn sure don't want the kids on that bus injured and I do not want to have to imagine the faces of the parents receiving the call that their kids' school bus ran over a fat ass chick in a Trailblazer. Just PLAN.AHEAD. Got it? Good!

Aunt Crazy who wants a new car but would prefer NOT to be killed by a school bus driver to get it

Dear teenaged children that live in MY house,
Do what I say, when I say it, without ignoring me and without backtalking. Got it? Good!

Aunt Crazy aka Mom who may start knocking the shit out of the teenagers in MY house that don't do WTF I say!

Dear Uncle Bubba,
Stop working so much. It's not good for you, I'm lonely, the kids miss you, the dog is confused, and single parenting teenagers is NOT a job I signed up for. Got it? Good!

Aunt Crazy aka your wife who may desert you and leave you with these teenagers just cuz


  1. Agghhh I second all ofthe above.. Hey ya'll could come to my house and my teenagers and your teenagers could whine to one another about how we suck as mean mommies, and we could whine about our hubbies work schedules

  2. I've told you this before... Teenagers scare me! You'll be a pro by the time mine hit that age, maybe I'll just send them your way. Bwahahahaha

    I so would have called the school district and reported that bus for their shitty driving. I kid you not I even have the bus line saved in my contacts! SCARY!!

  3. BAHAHAHA... the dog is confused. I don't know why, but that made me giggle.

    A school bus tried to take me out last week. Where do they find these drivers?! Asshats, I tell ya.

    Have a great weekend! :)

  4. TGIF....

    Have a great weekend..

    P.S. might be a way to earn some extra $$$$$
    people would pay good money for tickets to watch a mean a$$ Momma beat the sh@t outa her teenage kids.....

    Just saying!!!! LOL

  5. LOL. You crack me up. I hate when people go under the speed limit. Wait, I hate when people do the speed limit. If you aren't going 5 over the speed limit, I am raging.

  6. teenagers make me afraid and in 2 short years I will have one...HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Bad drivers in corvettes AND school buses outta have their licenses removed. It outta be illegal.

    And teenagers...well teenagers should lock themselves in their rooms and not come out until they understand that we are smarter than they are.

    Thanks for linking up, hopefully Uncle Bubba has the weekend off.

  8. LMFAO! You crack me up!

    I used to live in Katy, so I am familiar with the 610 and westheimer. :)

  9. Isn't there some paper you sign when you buy a bad ass car that states you will indeed go the speed limit, if not more, because you look doing so? People who don't at least drive the speed limit are not allowed to have bad ass cars.

  10. LMAO I swear, you complete me!! It's like we share the same brain or something...*giggles hysterically* You rock!! And for that reason, I have come to say that I am giving you the Honest Scrap Award! =) Follow this link to read all about it and get the skinny on it. =)

  11. Thank you for saying what needs to be said.