Friday, April 16, 2010

My convo with my hot single mom friend y’all

Me: what’s happening hotty

Hotty: it’s a bitch being a single mom

Me: yeah right, single life, no man to cater too, lots of sex cuz we all know married folks give up the sex

Hotty: well, let me tell you what my fucking brat kid said to me

Me: omg laughing before I even know but please please share

Hotty: boyfriend shows up at my place at 5:30 am, fucking brat kid is in my bed, why I’ll never know, but whatever, I run her ass to her own damn room, have early morning sex with the bf then he leaves and my day starts at 7:30 am, later that night fucking brat kid asks me if bf is coming over at 5:30 am again. I tell her no. Fucking brat kid tells me, “you’re not getting any mother of the year awards by kicking me outta your bed for him at 5:30 in the morning”

Me: OMG…I’m laughing so fucking hard I can’t breathe cuz I can so totally see fucking brat kid saying those words to her mother and I’m dying and of course my coworkers are staring at me cuz I’m laughing like a lunatic in my cubicle at what appears to them to be absolutely nothing but the computer screen

Hotty: I told her he was getting his shaving stuff, but she said “yeah right, he was here 15 minutes, I’m not stupid just sayin” then saunters off as if she owns the universe because apparently fucking brat kids DO not only own but run the universe!

Me: please send help, I’m dying from laughing and I’m going to blog this, you know that right? This will be on my blog ASAP!!!

Hotty: well, on a positive note, fucking brat kid hasn’t been back in my bed AND when things like this happen between me and her, I’ve learned to scream some chore at her and retreats to her bedroom and out of my space so the subject is dropped

Me: it is official, a person can die from laughing, but I’m seriously fucking dead here…seriously…I’m dead and no one has come to my rescue. Who knew that laughing kills???


  1. kids...they are WAY too smart these days!!!!
    how old is her kid?!

  2. OMG - I have tears and my stomach hurts.

    I can't believe they didn't save you. I would have...saved you...or died with you.


  3. Well there you go she has solved the age old question of "How do we get our kids out of our bed?" LMFAO

  4. who knew that I would get this kind of education at my age on your blog...ROFL

    That is funny I don't care who you are.....

  5. That is totally hilarious! Big Mama Cas said this blog would make me laugh and it did!!!! I can see that kid sauntering through the house like a quenn/king!!! LMFAO!!

  6. I've stopped even warning my friends when I'm going to blog something... they just know. ;-)

  7. O, good GOD! I'm laughing my ass off over here! You can't make that shit up!! Even if you tried!! Hilarious!!