Wednesday, July 21, 2010

M&P River Trip 2010

I only almost died this one time during the river trip. The current attempted to kidnap my fat ass and toss me over a 30 foot waterfall where I would have died a horrid, broken, bloody death for sure...BUT...my bitches rock and when I got too tired to paddle against that bitch current, they came after me with tubes, floaties, and some rope. I was begging for a smoke and shouting that they should really tell my kids I love them and that my car would be paid off upon my death and that one of the daughters of the mom's could have it when the current and the Guadalupe River conspired to kidnap me in a vile, murderous plot to do me in. HA river, suck it cuz my bitches rock and they saved my soul from the depths of the Guadalupe River HELL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA we fought the river and the bitches won yo!!!

A little history, the first time we met in person was in 2003. We headed out to dinner at a local restaurant with a band and small dance floor. Now, realize, we attract attention in general. A large group of women, ranging in size, color, age, and style, we attract attention and of course, we hug and fondle each other wildly while making inapproriate jokes...LOL So, the hostest was the lady in the red dress...LOL She asks how we met and we say the internet. She leans in and whispers are y'all one of those Lesbian Internet Groups??? We cracked up and explained that no, we were a group of moms from all over the US and Canada. However, LIG was born and never to be forgotten.

So, this year, we get to the house and find a broken window. We call the owners and they send their son out who couldn't have been a day over 22 and he was just precious. I mention to him that the house had been remodeled some since last year and then tell him that this was our third year to rent the house. He asks if we are family. I say no, we met online and are an internet moms group. He whips around, eyes WIDE, and says that he was so glad I mentioned being a moms group because he was about to ask if we met on EHARMONY...LMFAO!!! Oh the fun we had with e-harmony all weekend...

This was all in the first 24 hours y'all...more to come...I promise!!!!!!!!

10 comments:

  1. Lesbian Internet Group!! That's perfect!!

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  2. Oh man, you KNOW you just know it's going to be fun when Lesbian Internet Groups and E-Harmony has already kicked in.

    Ahhh the drunken stories will be fun to read!!

    M

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  3. I am beginning to see why no men are allowed....LOL ROFL......

    And whoda thunk it....*snicker*

    just saying.....

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  4. roflmbo.. I miss all teh good stuff lol

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  5. Remind me to tell you about our discussion whether you used batteries or not.

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  6. That sounds like it was a blast. I've had a few close mishaps in a river myself. And some mishaps that don't need to be repeated. I am following you now, btw, as I think you are hilarious.

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  7. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
    Lesbian Internet Group. Awesome.

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  8. I can't wait to read the rest. I'll get a blog written up too and post a link to yours.

    And thanks for not mentioning that while you were drowning and saying your goodbyes, I was getting a beer and having a smoke ... yelling at Mendi to bring you a rope. Seriously, you looked like you had your shit together .... and I have much guilt! Muah!

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  9. Ummm...30 foot waterfall on the Guadalupe? Do I out you?

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  10. OH THE DRAMA! She was NOT gonna die! Seriously... whatever;-) hahaha

    MY daughter, who loves her favorite Aunt Crazy, is still giving me crap over it cuz I was NOT one of the awesome bitches risking life and limb to save her! hahahaha

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