Monday, June 20, 2011

Sometimes I feel sorry for Uncle Bubba

well, I almost feel sorry for him anyway. I'm sure he did not know what he was getting into way back, all those years ago, when he chose me as his life long mate. I wasn't even called Aunt Crazy back then. He was called Uncle Bubba though, so I probably should have known I was getting my city girl self into a redneck predicament, but I didn't. I blame the Strawberry Hill, actually, I place a lot of blame on the good old Boone's Farm, for a lot of things, but we'll just not discuss how much of that high class (NOT) wine I consumed before I had even reached the legal drinking age. Anyway, back to the point of this here blog post.

Earlier, I made a decision and I shared it with the unknowing Uncle Bubba. He should know better than to reply to me on that instant messenger by now, it rarely ends up good for him, just sayin!

So, I tell him that I've made a decision, and that dumbass brilliant man, asked me about what! hahaha

This is where I tell him that I've decided he needs to teach me to shoot a gun and buy me a gun because if Savanna and I are going to be spending a ton of time home alone over the next four years, I need to be able to protect us. I tell him that I promise not to shoot him, even if he makes me sad or mad. I also promised not to shoot Princess Bitch Savanna, even though she makes me want to shoot her a lot.

He said, "Savanna knows how to shoot!"

Well, waking her is about as easy as waking the dead and I told him so and I also told him not to be skeered, that I'd promised not to shoot him, for the love of Dr. Pepper, what more does he want from me?!?!?!?!?

This is where I imagine he walked away from his desk and went to work in his shop. I guess he did this because he never replied and he probably made a decision hisowndamnself and that decision was probably that it was easier for him to stand on his feet, on the concrete, in the hot shop, running a machine than try to convince himself that it would be a good idea to teach me to shoot a gun and easier than trying to talk me out of this crazy notion.


  1. Oh, Aunt Crazy, y'all need to road trip up here to Colorado (the whole SGG) and I'll teach you how to shoot. No need to stress Uncle Bubba out about it :)

  2. Dang... I was just gonna tell you to go chill with GunDiva and she'd teach you to shot - but she beat me to it!

    And she's hilarious to boot... I'd be jealous if you two got to hang out and crack up the locals!

  3. I haven't shot a gun in years. I need a refresher course. And if it's not a hundred damn degrees there, I'm up for a trip to colorado.

  4. Oooh, I am going to be so jealous if the SGG heads on up to Colorado. Any need to come all the way out to the west coast? I shoot at a range that teaches police and is fond of letting the women shoot the machine guns so they can get the men all riled up and thinking they have to do it too. Then they charge them a hefty fee!
    I agree, leave Uncle Bubba out of this!

  5. It's not a hundred damn degrees up here and we've got space at the Lodge for bloggers the first weekend in August. But will all y'all promise to take the humidity back with you? Purty please? I'm done with it.