Aunt Crazy's here y'all!!!

Y'all should be totally proud of Uncle Bubba

2011-11-07T13:17:00.001-06:00

for sharing. He shared with me, in such a loving, chivalrous, gentlemanly way, I'm so proud of him.

Sadly, what he shared is a sore throat, a headache, coughing, and a generally crappy, sick feeling.

I love Uncle Bubba but for the love of Dr. Pepper, he could have kept THIS to hisowndamnself!

OH MY HELL

2011-10-12T17:02:00.000-05:00

I can barely breathe, so this will be short and sweet and I promise I'll make time for a real blog post because I know how much y'all love to read my nonsense and laugh at how goofy I am, admit it, you come here to laugh AT me not WITH me, but it's ok cuz I love y'all anyways.

I went to Vegas, saw the Grand Canyon, didn't find an Elvis to marry, spent lots, won a little, and came home to a HUGE promotion at work!

I accepted the job last Thursday morning and my new boss said, "Great, welcome to the department, and you start TOMORROW!" Holy stinking cow...

I have NO experience in this position and the lady that hired me took a huge leap of faith by hiring me and convincing her boss, a VP, that I'm worth it. I'm busy from the time I get here until the time I leave, I barely eat or pee while I'm here, but I'm learning the job and I'll have it down pat in no time flat.

I miss y'all so comment lots here and I promise I'll try to make time to blog regularly.

100% of the gang was together, FINALLY

2011-09-19T14:29:00.002-05:00

and it was a fun time for all involved!

Friday night I was the first to arrive, then Leiah, then Candance, and then finally Michelle...whoop whoop the gang's all here! The Southern Girl Gang rocked Houston!!!

Drinking, talking, smoking, laughing, OH THE LAUGHTER!!! Until the wee hours of the morning and then we had to wake early to get ourselves presentable for Miss Paula Deen!

Paula is HILARIOUS!!! We had a great time, laughing, listening, heck I even teared up when she shared a lovelym and very personal, story.

We discovered the tattoo expo was next door and we could NOT pass up that people watching opportunity! A policeman even stopped us on the way out and said we did not look like a group of ladies that would be at the tattoo expo. bwahahahaha

We decided to take in a movie and we picked "The Help" it was my first time to see it but the rest of the gang had seen it before, some of them had even seen it twice. I loved it!

Sunday, we slept in a bit, packed up the desctruction zone that was our hotel room, and we all headed our separate directions.

Fortunately, we had an amazing weekend and the city of Houston is still standing.

It's my 2nd blogoversary

2011-09-09T10:36:00.003-05:00

Who knew I could fill the interwebs with my drivel for two years??? Not me! Mostly, I hope to have my memories somewhere besides inside my crazy head because I have the memory of a knat. I can't remember crap.

Not only is today my blogoversary, but September is apparently my birthday month this year...yay me!!!

September 3rd...Kid Rock concert
September 9th...my 2nd blogoversary
September 14th...my 37th birthday
September 16th...the Southern Girl Gang meets up to spend the weekend drinking Firefly and seeing Ms. Paula Deen and tear up the streets of H-town
September 30th...I'm hitting up Vegas with my mom and some other family to see the Donnie & Marie show and blow my dough at the roulette wheel

Add to all that, Savanna's physical therapy, driving school, back to softball practices, pitching lessons, tournaments, and work...it's a busy life we lead around here. She's needed the break and is healing nicely, but is so ready to put on her gear and get back behind home plate!!!

I've linked this up with Jennifer at Momma Made it Look Easy cuz she's awesome and my post is awesome and we're all just awesome! Head on over to her place and check her out!!!

The craziness that IS my life, no? Why yes, yes it's crazy around these parts

2011-09-07T14:07:00.000-05:00

Let's see, never a dull moment, NEVER. It's fun times around here y'all!!!

Savanna had surgery on her left knee on Aug 26th. Here is what it looked like 6 days post op, she's got jokes cuz she put this pic on facebook and asked "is anyone missing a knee, if so I think mine ate it" funny I tell ya, the shit never ceases around here. It's amazing that she can crack me up and make me want to strangle her within a few moments of each other but I love her.

And yes, those are camo crocs thrown on the floor..

hers and she wears them to school every day...SIGH

These dogs, I have a love hate relationship with them, I love to hate them, then I hate to love them, it's a vicious cycle around here, except the big one, he's my favorite child. They all think I'm their momma but I keep telling them and everyone else, that I don't wanna be anyone's momma anymore, I'd like to have that "empty nest" experience and then (in 10 years or so) have the Granny experience, I've earned it!

This ticket, probably, very likely, the BEST birthday gift EVER, and I do mean EVAH!!! Uncle Bubba took me to see Kid Rock, even though he had to pay way more than face value and hates crowds, he took me for my upcoming birthday and he tolerated my hollering and singing and dancing very well and oh my hell thank the little 8 pound baby geezus we had covered seating cuz those folks on the lawn got a little wet and by a little wet, I mean soaked.

One day maybe I'll figure out how to take a good picture with my phone, but until then, here is Uncle Bubba and Aunt Crazy getting ready for that skanky hot love of my life, Kid Rock!!! Oh and just in case you're wondering, that IS Uncle Bubba's happy face, I promise! He's not a man of much emotion.

Chance is off in East Texas going to school, he's enjoying it. He got trapped away from his home cuz of fire then got trapped there cuz of fire, it's everywhere...this is what he saw before he was able to go back to his home. This is near some of our family that he was visiting.

p.s. There are tons of wildfires in Texas right now, feels like the whole damn state is burning, like it's hell on Earth in Texas or something, but, PLEASE, y'all say some prayers, send some thoughts, work some voodoo magic, or whatever it is y'all do by way of sending the good vibes, cuz we need it and we need rain like a fat kid needs cake!

ARRGGGHHH school dress code that isn't a uniform but really IS a uniform

2011-08-30T09:41:00.003-05:00

I mean, come on Texas school districts, we parents, well ME anyway, aren't idiots, grow some balls and call it what it is, a UNIFORM, it's not a dress code, it's not "standardized" dress, it's a freakin uniform!

I'm venting today about part of the uniform policy in our dress code. I hate the entire thing and I seriously think if we had a real dress code (like we used to) that was ENFORCED, this standarized dress thing would be unnecessary, actually, it was unnecessary when it was put in place. The district had a dress code but no one enforced it and since "everyone else was doing it" our district followed along like automotons, even after polling the parents and getting feedback that indicated more than 85% of the parents in our district did not want it, they did it anyway and when the parents complained about them ignoring our vote, the parents were told it was an opinion survey, not a vote.

Moving along...my complaint (for today) is with the length requirements for shorts/skirts/skorts. The district has a policy for K-8th grade and another policy for high schoolers. Both state that the length of shorts/skirts/skorts must be to the top of the knee but the policy for younger kids the very next sentence says that the "fingertip" rule will be used for measure. The high school policy does not state that.

First, why two different policies? Second, why state that the length is to the knee, yet in the next sentence give a different rule? Third, why not use some common sense? If a person can see that the length of the clothing is appropriate, why dole out punishment because it's not all the way to the knee???

My kid hasn't gotten in trouble for uniforms yet, but she's 5'9" with a 34" inseam, finding "fingertip" shorts was an ordeal, finding to the knee shorts was impossible.

These uniforms do not do anything but cause problems for most parents, students, and district employees. Parents struggle to meet the ever changing rules and buy two sets of clothes for their kids, students HATE them, and employees must stop class to punish for infractions such as an untucked shirt or not having a belt on or shorts that are to the fingertip or longer but not to the knee.

And good lord, let me just say that because there is a uniform policy does not mean that the kids won't have "fashion" or "expense" to play with! One parent shops at the Goodwill, another at the Wal-Mart, and another at American Eagle, there is still a difference in brand for the kids with a uniform. Same goes with shoes...just sayin!

What a ridiculous waste of time!!!

PYHO: Synergy

2011-08-24T09:32:00.002-05:00

Linking up with Shell today for Pour Your Heart Out.

Her posts and the link ups are awesome and heartfelt and personal. If you can't be nice, click off!

Synergy…I learned about this in my first university class, way back in January of 2008 and to me, it means working together, cohesively, to produce the very best product, better even than a product that can be produced by the best member of the team, everyone’s best and worst is determined and the best of everyone is put together to PRODUCE THE BEST!!!

I want synergy in my life, with my family, my husband, my kids, my pets, my work, I want the best of all of it to just WORK. Why can’t the worst and the weakest parts of me and the others just be in the background of my thoughts? I don’t feel like I am part of any team, actually. I feel like I’m floating along, trying to fit in, trying to fit into something, somewhere, I want to fit.

Mom, wife, student, employee, pet owner, bill payer, something to everyone, EXCEPT to myself…I ask myself HOW this happens, but I know the answer, I allowed it, I encouraged it, it’s never ending and I accept my blame in that but I still want “more” but why and what exactly, is this elusive “more” that I crave? Is it just that synergy?

In my more clarifying moments, I can see, and I know, that I am something to myself, that I have self confidence in who I am and what I’m doing, but now, today, in these recent moments, I can’t seem to find ME in anything.

Cleaning up after puppies, teenagers, grown ass men that call themselves adult husbands, taking care of everything for everyone, it’s overwhelming and right now, today, in these recent moments, I don’t want to do it anymore.

I do not want to make appointments for “adults” and then fill out the paperwork for them, and then remind them to be there, and then give them directions, and THEN they either don’t show up or they ask me at the last minute to change it or go with them and tell the doctor what is wrong with them...seriously

I do not want to sweep the carpet of the paper towels or toilet paper that has been shredded by puppies, or clean their poop, or get onto them when they pee inside and run them outside as fast as I can and then chase them back home as they inevitably run for the pasture because it’s fun for them.

I do not want to remind a teen for the eleventy billionth time to get their backpack, lunch box, gym shoes, shut the door, get your keys, do you have your glove, bat, bag, etc...it's too hard.

I want to live alone, in peace, do what I want, when I want, how I want.

Synergy can’t be found alone though, a team is required to find it, and I do want that and I can’t do it alone, so for now, today, in these recent moments, AND in the future, I will keep moving forward because I know that my anxiousness will flow back into my happiness, as soon as I let it.

First day of school 2011

2011-08-22T15:41:00.001-05:00

Chance is registering for college classes tomorrow...sigh! He's living 3 hours away and his reply to my request for first day of college pictures was, "negative" so I'm thinking unless I take a day of vacation and drive up there, I will not get pictures of him on his first day of college. I will however, fake it later, and pretend it was his first day ;);) Also, way back when he started Kindergarten, not only did digital cameras not exist, I couldn't even afford a camera, so we had those crappy disposable cameras and I do have prints of his first day of Kinder somewhere, I do not have them digitally :(

Savanna on the other hand was hyper and happy about her first day of high school.

First, this is her on the first day of Kindergarten...

This is her on the first day of high school...

p.s. these are iPhone pictures, I apparently am enept at taking decent pictures with any cell phone, and for that, I am very, very sorry :(

A different take on Proud Mommy Moments, or maybe not

2011-08-18T12:11:00.002-05:00

Kmama is hosting Proud Mommy Moments on Thursdays, go on, go read hers and others, they are awesome, well, after y'all read mine of course !!!

Proud Mommy Moments

Recently, my son moved out of the house. Of course, he left his room a ginormous MESS, the brat! And THEN, our dogs managed to get inside and poop everywhere, can we all say NASTY???

I tried to go in there THREE times to clean it, but each and every time, I gagged and nearly vomitted. So, I did what any GOOD mother would do, cuz this is MY Proud Mommy Moment for myowndamnself, I bribed my other kid to clean it up.

What, you don't bribe your kids? Whatever, wait til they are teenagers, you'll pay them to do stuff you don't want to do too, or not, but whatever, I did and that is MY Proud Mommy Moment for myowndamnself!

Moving onto being proud of my kid, she's creative that one, not only did she conive her way into getting more cash than I originally offered, she made her some “My dog poopoo cleaning shoes they’re one size fits all” seriously, she text me that sentence along with THIS picture:

Why yes, YES, those are Target shopping bags duct taped (with the fancy stuff) around her hands to clean up doggie poop. She's creative, or is it innovative, whatever, she's pretty cool, if I do say so myself!

The moral of this story is:

1) it’s disgusting that the room even got that way to begin with
2) I totally took advantage of her greedy want of some cold hard cash hahaha
3) and I don’t even feel bad about doing so ROFL

There are many ways to have a Proud Mommy Moment, no? I'm thinking, if nothing else, this will REALLY qualify me for that "Mother of the Effin Year Award" that I've been so desparately trying to win!

Put a fork in me, I AM DONE!!!

2011-08-11T11:09:00.001-05:00

First, sorry I haven't been here in awhile, nor have I been reading or commenting blogs these last few weeks.

I have been a tad occupied with this other thing, called college.

But, those days are over with, cuz I'm a quitter, no wait, kidding, I didn't quit, I FINISHED!!!

I completed my last class yesterday. Now, I'm waiting for final grades to be processed, then I have to request a transcript from the community college be sent to University of Phoenix, then wait for Phoenix to process it. Once they do that, I can order my DIPLOMA!!!

I will be the proud owner of a diploma that has my name on it for a Bachelors Degree in Business Management with a Concentration in Accounting...seriously y'all!!!

I DID IT!!!

Since this is so AWESOME, I'm linking it up with Share Your Awesome, hosted by Momma Made It Look Easy!!!

I'm being featured...yep, little ole me!!!

2011-07-15T08:10:00.000-05:00

Jennifer over at Momma Made it Look Easy has this weekly meme where bloggers can link up their most awesome post for the week, she then picks one of those that linked up to feature the following week. Jen has a great blog and great followers, so you can be sure to meet some new blogging buddies by linking up with her for Share Your Awesome!!!

Head on over to read my interview and check out her blog and the bloggers that have linked up to share their awesome and while you're there, LINK UP TOO!!!

Thank you Jennifer!!!

More Proud Mommy Moments

2011-07-14T11:31:00.001-05:00

It's that time again for Proud Mommy Moments!!!

Last week I shared something about Savanna so it's only fair that this week I blame my lack of parenting skills share about Chance LOL

He and his friends were 9 or 10 at the time this happened. I go to our friends house to pick him up from a sleep over. Sadly, it's the same friends that the mishap with Savanna happened with, I sometimes wonder why we are still friends, hahaha Anyproudmommymoment, I get there and the parents tell me that the boys were trying to smoke. Really??? Not surprising considering we, the parents, smoke, but that's not the point here. So, I (the idiot) ask for details. Then the story unfolds. The boys decided they wanted to smoke some "grass" don't even ask me where they heard about weed because at that point in my life I had never even thought about trying it (oh good lord, I tried it once at 30 LOL) so they took a sheet of notebook paper, picked some grass from the front yard, rolled the grass in the paper, and tried to light it. Needless to say, they were unsuccessful in their attempt to get high at age 10 but it was freaking funny and it's even funnier NOW!!!

I also linked this post to Momma Made it Look Easy for Share Your Awesome!!!

Proud Mommy Moments

2011-07-07T13:08:00.000-05:00

I just had to link up with Kmama from The Daily Dribbles today for Proud Mommy Moments.

When Savanna was about 3 years old, we met a couple who had kids around our kids age and we started spending time at their house or at our house. The brother of the husband was visiting one night while we were over and as uncles and nephews sometimes do, the brother and son of the husband began wrestling. They got carried away and the boy began to holler that he needed "help" all the while laughing his little head off. Apparently, Savanna did not find it funny and she decided to come to his rescue by screaming, "STOP IT ASSHOLE!" Oh yes, YES she did!

For the love of Dr. Pepper, I nearly died, right then and there, if I could have made myself disappear, I would have! It was horribly embarrassing but all these years later, we are all still friends.

We call these "proud parenting moments" around our house...LOL

WTF crackberry???

2011-06-28T14:22:00.000-05:00

Why must you antagonize me? Are you trying to patronize me as well? It ain't happening. I've been talking about replacing you with an iPhone for awhile now, but today, of all days, is just not the day you should mess me with me, crackberry!!! Are you trying to make me replace you with an iPhone??? ARE YOU, HUH??? Because I am THIS close to going to the phone store when I leave work! I am THIS close to divorcing you crackberry because your camera sucks. I have kept you because I am addicted to you and I love you like a fat kid loves cake, and while I am willing to overlook the fact that your camera sucks, I am not willing to overlook what you've been doing to me today. I am unwilling to work with you on this one minor factoid. You will NOT be permitted to reboot eleventy billion times per day when I did not reboot you myowndamnself. Got it??? Are we coming to a mutual agreement here, crackberry? Do you think you can stop rebooting so that when I feel the need to get my crackberry fix, I, uhhhmmm, I dunno, ACTUALLY get my crackberry fix?

Don't keep pushing me crackberry, I will divorce you and marry a replacement, I WILL!!! The iPhone has been wooing me for months now and if you do not behave better than this, I will not even bother cheating on you with the iPhone, I will replace you immediately.

I'm glad we can come to an understanding today, crackberry!

Sometimes I feel sorry for Uncle Bubba

2011-06-20T13:52:00.001-05:00

well, I almost feel sorry for him anyway. I'm sure he did not know what he was getting into way back, all those years ago, when he chose me as his life long mate. I wasn't even called Aunt Crazy back then. He was called Uncle Bubba though, so I probably should have known I was getting my city girl self into a redneck predicament, but I didn't. I blame the Strawberry Hill, actually, I place a lot of blame on the good old Boone's Farm, for a lot of things, but we'll just not discuss how much of that high class (NOT) wine I consumed before I had even reached the legal drinking age. Anyway, back to the point of this here blog post.

Earlier, I made a decision and I shared it with the unknowing Uncle Bubba. He should know better than to reply to me on that instant messenger by now, it rarely ends up good for him, just sayin!

So, I tell him that I've made a decision, and that ~~dumbass~~ brilliant man, asked me about what! hahaha

This is where I tell him that I've decided he needs to teach me to shoot a gun and buy me a gun because if Savanna and I are going to be spending a ton of time home alone over the next four years, I need to be able to protect us. I tell him that I promise not to shoot him, even if he makes me sad or mad. I also promised not to shoot ~~Princess Bitch~~ Savanna, even though she makes me want to shoot her a lot.

He said, "Savanna knows how to shoot!"

Well, waking her is about as easy as waking the dead and I told him so and I also told him not to be skeered, that I'd promised not to shoot him, for the love of Dr. Pepper, what more does he want from me?!?!?!?!?

This is where I imagine he walked away from his desk and went to work in his shop. I guess he did this because he never replied and he probably made a decision hisowndamnself and that decision was probably that it was easier for him to stand on his feet, on the concrete, in the hot shop, running a machine than try to convince himself that it would be a good idea to teach me to shoot a gun and easier than trying to talk me out of this crazy notion.

Aunt Crazy and her antics

2011-06-10T14:44:00.000-05:00

I'm at it again, but over here today, with The Southern Girl Gang! Go on, see what I'm up to this time!!!

The week from hell and a public service announcement for all parents and kids

2011-05-27T12:37:00.000-05:00

Sunday night, the boy I wrote about here rolled his truck and was ejected. Speeding and no seat belt were involved, of course, because he's a stupid, 18 year old boy, and isn't that what they do...stupid stuff???

After 7 hours in the ER and ICU, waiting to see if he was going to survive, we got home at 5:30am Monday morning. I slept 2 hours and went back to the ICU. This whole week, I've been back and forth between home, the ICU, work, the ICU, home, the ICU, work, the ICU, home, I think I've slept 20 hours this week combined. We now know that he is expected to make a full recovery, but with a traumatic brain injury, there is no way to know how long that recovery will take or how many set backs he will have along the way. He's beat to hell, bruised from head to toe, has road rash like I've never seen, a broken shoulder blade, a broken ankle, and a broken big toe, but he's alive and talking and on his way to recovering!!!

He will be ok. I've said it before, I'm saying it now, and I'll say it again. He will be ok.

Tuesday, he came out of the coma and started to talk a little. Since then, he's able to remember family and friends. He sometimes says crazy, off the wall things, but last night, he remembered me. He looked at me and said, "hey Crazy" which is exactly how he addresses me every time I talk to him and when I left him, I told him I loved him and he said, "I love you too Crazy" what more can I ask for???

I just cried.

See, the night before, he did not know me. I cried some more. Hell, I'm still tearing up over it today.

He will be ok!!!

Y'all show this picture to your kiddos and tell them Aunt Crazy said wear you're damn seatbelt and obey the speed limits!!!

This is what was left of an extended cab Ford Ranger after it rolled several times, came to a landing on the guardrail, and had the roof cut off to get his girlfriend out of the truck. She is ok with minor cuts and bruises.

PYHO momma crazy is about done

2011-05-04T14:20:00.000-05:00

Put a fork in me, I'm done, probably burnt, actually, so maybe I just need to be fed to the dogs ;)

That son of mine, he's driving me batty, I swear. Four weeks of high school left and he's on the verge of not graduating. I've done everything in my power and then some to convince him of how important it is. I've given myself to him, physically, emotionally, financially, I have nothing left to give. So, I'm done. He can graduate or not, his choice. We have already bought everything, the ring (which he lost), the invites, the cap & gown, the only thing we don't have is pictures and he doesn't want them, so I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do there. The prom dress has been bought for his girlfriend, his tux has been paid for and picked up, prom is this weekend. IF by some chance, he is eligible for graduation, it's a simple matter of sticking the mailing labels on the envelopes and mailing the invites, if he doesn't, they'll sit in the box until I can bare to throw them away.

When can a mom say enough? When can she say I've done the best I could and I'm done?

I hope it's now, because I've had enough and I'm done.

I graduated already, with a baby, this is for him to do, not me.

I may not survive

2011-05-03T10:10:00.000-05:00

a puppy, seriously??? I've dang near survived two freaking teenagers, with a little bit of sanity remaining, but a puppy, he's gonna be the death of me yet. I honestly do not know how that pup is still alive. So far, he's eaten:

allergy pills
a bottle of diet pills
a silica packet
a package of Reece's peanut butter cups
stuffed animals
multiple electronics, including Savanna's iPod Touch
a container of cooking spices
a container of salt
Chance's prescription, whose purpose is retaining fluid
trash, trash, and more trash

The list goes on and on. He gets lots of attention and loving and food and treats, yet when we leave him alone, he is destructive. He knows he's done wrong too because when we get home, he runs into Chance's room to hide and then climbs into my lap or into Uncle Bubba's lap and snuggles and begs for forgiveness.

And let's not even mention potty training...UGH...if we put a patch of linoleum or carpet in the yard, he'd potty outside, but in the grass, FORGET IT!

How can you not love this puppy though?

Duke, your Granny Crazy loves you, but if you don't start behaving, I'm gonna make you live somewhere else!

You say it's your SITS day, it's my SITS day too

2011-05-02T08:26:00.000-05:00

I'm the featured blogger today over at The SITS girls place!!!

At SITS, you'll find hundreds of blogs from all different spectrums of life. The ladies there are great and supportive and just look at the support I'm getting today just being featured!

Thanks for the welcome.

Welcome to Aunt Crazy's place, come in, take a look around, and I hope you'll come back!!!

The toddler chasing business

2011-04-29T15:42:00.001-05:00

Aunt Crazy is WAAAAAY out of practice! I had my sweet little 2.5 year old nephew for the Easter weekend. I love him and he's a ton of fun but OH MY HELL, he wore me out! My kids are teenagers...I'm out of the toddler chasing business.

A bullet list of how badly I failed.

he fell and scraped his knees and hands
he fell and scraped his legs
he got a bruise on his face and I don't know how
he got stung by a wasp
he ran away and was nearly swimming in the pond by the time I found him
he got out of the house all by himself

The good news, he survived, I survived, and he loves his Aunt Crazy!!! He ate a lot of candy, got a lot of toys, colored Easter egs, and played until he couldn't play anymore.

After discussing this with my sister in law, she told the whole family that I'm not allowed to babysit her granddaughter...heehee

To all teenaged boys:

2011-04-19T14:28:00.002-05:00

My baby girl is tall and blonde and smart and athletic and gorgeous, stay away from her...even though she thinks you're cute and wants you to pay attention to her, don't make me go all Aunt Crazy on your asses...seriously, I have guns and Uncle Bubba knows how to use them!

I sent this text, "a high school boy was holding Savanna's hand and I did NOT scream at him to get his hands off my baby, even though I wanted too"

Why does she have to grow up and have a boyfriend and give me gray hairs and heartburn???

PYHO: scary stuff going on

2011-04-06T12:53:00.001-05:00

I was going to blog this cuz we need all the thoughts and prayers we can get. I'm going to link up with Shell too because 1) I totally heart her and 2) see the first line, we need all the thoughts and prayers we can get.

Our family is big, both mine and Uncle Bubba's. Our parents are both divorced and remarried, they have siblings who have spouses and kids, and we have extended family all around us, so BIG is kind of an understatement. This really has nothing to do with what all is going on, but my random brain seems to think y'all need to know this...LOL

Savanna has been having issues with her knees. She's been in physical therapy with little improvement. She has a follow up with the doctor tomorrow to see if he wants to continue the physical therapy or schedule surgery. Her elbow is also hurting her and we'll ask him to look at that tomorrow too. She's had tendonitis and physical therapy to fix it before.

Chance is still not feeling 100% even though we have a diagnosis and a prescription. I need to call the cardiologist but he doesn't want to go to the doctor.

My sister in law is having surgery 4/11 to have at least half of her thyroid removed, maybe all of it. They found cancer cells in the biopsy but won't really know anything more until after the surgery.

My mother in law is having knee replacement surgery 4/12.

My brother in law if having knee surgery 4/13.

Uncle Bubba's step-dad turned 75 recently. On his birthday, he was diagnosed with cancer of the throat. He has it in one lymp node and we found out yesterday that he also has cancer of the thyroid. He begins chemo/radiation on 4/11, he lives 3 hours away from all of us. If he does not have the treatment, death is imminent. The treatment itself could actually kill him. Damn the luck.

On top of Uncle Bubba working pretty much around the clock, all the stuff that goes along with having a senior in high school, me working, me running Savanna to all her appointments, lessons, and practices, now we are worried about all of this.

Trying to plan Easter and a graduation party and arrange senior pictures and make sure I don't forget who has to be where when, is making my brain hurt and tired.

Uncle Bubba says it was wrong, I say kiss my hiney

2011-04-01T13:49:00.001-05:00

During Spring Break, my kids were gone. I worked on Monday and on Tuesday spent the day traveling with Uncle Bubba to pick up Savanna from East Texas and bring her to spend the rest of the week with her cousins. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I spent alone, doing whateverthehellIwanted, which Uncle Bubba told me was just wrong. He thinks it was wrong of me to use vacation days when our kids were not at home. I told him where to shove his thoughts and also reminded him that the last several Spring Breaks I have spent with the kids by myowndamnself because of his working and that over the last year, I have been alone with the kids more ofen than not because of his working. I may or may not have told him that if I wanted 3 fucking days to do what I wanted to do, he could kiss my ass and stop being jealous because he refuses to take off work because he's a control freak who thinks that none of his employees will do any work if he's not there. I'll be damned if I'm going to feel guilty for spending 3 days doing whatthehelleverIwanted!!!

p.s. completely off topic I know, but I'm nothing if not random right, I absolutely ABHOR gum smacking, especially in adults and I'm about to lose my mind at work because of someone smacking their gum all freaking day!

One down, one to go

2011-03-25T12:45:00.000-05:00

not really, but that's what my friend told me yesterday, on my son's 18th birthday...hahaha

Yep, my kid is half my age, he's now the same age that Uncle Bubba and I were when he was born. It's quite scary, actually, thinking about how ill-prepared my kid is to parent but knowing that we were his parents at the same age he is now.

I say not really to the whole one down, one to go thing because even though he's 18, he's still in high school, still lives at home and off our dime. He works, so he does have his own money for stuff, but still, he's a kid.

What is it about men and boys thinking that the day of their 18th birthday they are going to wake up and miraculously be grown ass men???

I don't get that, but whatever, if I spend another minute trying to figure out how a man brain functions, I may have to hurl myself off a bridge, not really, but still, I'm just sayin...just because he's 18 does not make him a grown up.

My friends are having a CSN give away

2011-03-14T08:54:00.000-05:00

Head on over and visit Mr. Daddy and Rachel. They are LOVELY folks, with a great blog. They also host True Story Tuesday...BUT...right now, they are having an AWESOME, absolutely, positively grand give away. A CSN give away that rocks the docks!!!

What are you waiting for???? OH, I see, you don't want to sign up because you want Aunt Crazy to win...awww shucks, THANKS A MILLION!!!

Aunt Crazy is going CRAZY

2011-03-07T15:43:00.000-06:00

This is my schedule for the week:

Monday – up at 5:30 am, work 7am to 4pm, get home at 5pm, honk for Savanna to get in the car, she sees the chiropractor at 5:30, then has pitching at 7pm and we’ll get home about 8pm, oh and at some point, I’m going to have to feed her

Tuesday - up at 5:30 am, work 7am to 4pm, get home at 5pm, change clothes for school from 6:30 to 9:30, get home at 10pm

Wednesday - up at 5:30 am, work 7am to 4pm, get home at 5pm, honk for Savanna to get in the car, she sees the chiropractor at 5:30, then has practice from 7:30 to 9:30 pm and we’ll get home about 10pm, oh and at some point, I’m going to have to feed her

Thursday - up at 5:30 am, work 7am to 4pm, get home at 5pm, honk for Savanna to get in the car, she sees the physical therapist at 5:30, then has pitching at 8:30pm and we’ll get home about 9:30pm, oh and at some point, I’m going to have to feed her

I’m having a panic attack just trying to REMEMBER what to do when this week.

Uncle Bubba and Chance will be working untold hours this week, like always. Uncle Bubba works until all hours of the night and morning, Chance works until I text Uncle Bubba that he has to get home and in bed for school the next day.

Next week is Spring Break...I need a break...sigh

Moving day

2011-02-11T12:27:00.001-06:00

For the last two weeks, my coworkers and I have been boxing up our offices and cubicles! We even loaded all our file room stuff onto wooden carts. Today is the last day in my cubicle. Monday, I arrive at work to a brand new cubicle on a brand new floor. Now, I'll be on the 23rd floor instead of the 21st floor. Let's hope we never ever have a fire because not only can I not go down 23 flights of stairs, I'd piss everyone off by stopping for a smoke break when I need to catch my breath!

Packing up is fun because that means throwing shit out and I love to throw stuff away, I do, it must be those Virgo traits I have so many of, because it's like a cleansing of the soul when I get to throw stuff away!

Except, I packed up too much too soon because the other day, I needed to mail stuff, cuz you know I work here, and I couldn't find any envelopes cuz I'd already packed mine...LMFAO

Today, just before quitting time, I'll shut down my computer and put all the cords inside a plastic bag, and that will be the last of the packing for me.

Until Monday, of course, when the real work begins, y'all know what I'm talking about, the UNPACKING!!!

Graduation Invitations

2011-01-31T13:41:00.000-06:00

Today, I ordered 100 of these...

And it made me happy, proud, sad, scared, and excited all at the same time.

Another Chance update

2011-01-26T12:17:00.002-06:00

I know I've been slacking with the blogging, but see that post about education trying to kill me...yep, it is, add in work, being a wife, being a mother, and eleventy billion other things that I can't think of right this minute and you'll just have to accept that I'm tired, my brain is tired, and I really just can't put together a coherent thought for y'all. I'm sorry.

Oh and one of my classes right now is Technical Writing and I think I'm going to be expected to put together coherent thoughts, a lot, and that skeers me, not much skeers me, so y'all should be skeered.

Sidetracked much? Who me? Never!!!

Chance saw the cardiologist for a follow up this morning. The first thing he said was that Chance has color in his face and lips again and he was happy about that, HA, HE was happy, this thrills me to the ends of the earth and back cuz he was looking pretty scary! Then he said that his blood pressure is much better and that made all of us happy too. He's improving on medication and that's the best we could hope for and right now, we've got our hopes met, so YAY!!!

p.s. if I should ~~BEG~~ ask any of you to help me with a project for my Technical Writing class, just say no, and gently remind my stupid ass that it may be considered cheating, I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure and I'm no cheater, just sayin!!!

Education is trying to kill me, I'm sure of it and those Southern Girls are up to something on their blog

2011-01-18T08:22:00.001-06:00

I've been enrolled at University of Phoenix forever but completion looms on the horizon, or at least in my distant future, not in the red zone or anything, but maybe close to that, except I don't really know what the red zone is but I heard it on a movie and I knew it was about football cuz they said yardline and even I know that a yardline is in football, duh. I've asked Uncle Bubba to give me a Football 101 lesson, but he said it would have to be called Football for Dummies, cuz any idiot can watch the game and figure it out, but all I see are cute asses in tight uniforms running around on some fake grass. One time at a Texans game, I was sitting in the front row with my cousin cuz he knows all about the football, so much so that he has season tickets in the front row, right by where the players enter the field and OMG the cheerleaders, you could reach out and touch them, if you wanted to get arrested and all, but anyway, I was there at the game and the guy goes running to the end where they score, I jump up and start yelling "YAY" and the next thing I know, my cousin has grabbed me, pulled hard, and yanked me into the chair while yelling that I was cheering for the wrong team. I said NOOOOO they have the ball where we score, and this is where he tells me they switch sides where they score every quarter and I was all "SERIOUSLY???? now why would they do that to me???"

Anyway, geez, I get sidetracked easily, cuz this post is about me going to school and trying to finish up, which means the next 6 months or so I will not only be in class online with Univ of Phoenix, but I'll be in class online with my local community college AND attending a class at the local community college, but dammit, I'm bound and determined to graduate college before my birthday in September. So, yes, education is trying to kill me...I swear it!!!

p.s. Head on over the The Southern Girl Gang Chronicles cuz we've got a brand stankin new feature! We'll be giving answers to questions, Southern Girl style, ya know with a smile, some snark, some unladylike words, and if you play real nice, I may even show you my pretty finger, even though we made a resolution to TRY not to show the pretty finger off so much, but seriously, I just had my nails done and I could totally show off my pretty finger!!! So, go on, git on outta here, and go ask us some questions!!!

Aunt Crazy goes random

2011-01-10T10:48:00.001-06:00

Remember this post, yeah, well, HA to you Keyboarding 101, I rocked that bitch and earned the coveted A in typing...aren't y'all proud???

Last week, the Pickle family came over to use our shower, cuz they didn't have any hot water. Pickle Momma tells Pickle it's time for his bath, he gets this serious look on his face and says, "Crazy, do YOU have hot water?" I tried to control my laughter, but I was cracking up, I did manage to tell him that we did have hot water at our house.

The week before, we babysat my nephew Deuce overnight, he's 2. We were eating dinner and I was talking to him. He's very shy and he doesn't speak much. So, I'm chattering away and Uncle Bubba starts to laugh. I look over at Deuce and he's looking at me, shaking his head, while he has his fingers shoved in his ears. Uncle Bubba said he felt like doing that a lot when I'm talking.

Chance brought home a puppy on Friday night. I think that makes me a granny, to a puppy...so he calls me Granny Crazy. He's really cute and tiny but is a Pit and will be big soon enough. In the middle of the night, as I wandered to the potty, Chance hollers at me, Mom take IT, it's kept me up all night! I said welcome to parenthood son...LOL Then I took the sweet devil to bed with me.

I'm almost done with college. Hopefully by my birthday, I'll be all graduated and stuff. It's not going to be easy cuz I have to double up now on some classes to get it done by then, but I'm determined and I hope I have the stamina to hang tough.

Cuz I love you, here is Pickle and Duke, my grandpuppy...

Pickle LOVES Chance's puppy and took care of him allllllllll weekend...LOL

Oh my hell

2011-01-06T07:49:00.001-06:00

Why must people insist on getting on my nerves? I mean, I'm sure it's me, not them, wait, no, it can't be that, it's got to be them, not me. Why on earth would one make ones job so much harder than it has to be? Why on earth would one THINK they are helping when in fact they are only making the job of the person they are "helping" so much harder? Why on earth would one truly believe that every single person in the universe, except themselves of course, is an everloving idiot?

I wish I had the answers to these questions, but mostly, I just want to survive another work day without being the mega-bitch I truly am and telling these people exactly what I think about their workplace antics. Releasing my inner bitch is most likely not conducive to being gainfully employeed, having insurance, and feeding my brat kids, so I guess I'll just run down for a smoke break, email my friends with my ~~whining~~ complaints, and suffer through it. Oh the torture...LMFAO

P.S. Go take a look over here for some new years resolutions, Southern Girl Gang Style, of course!!!

Another year has flown by...Adios 2010

2010-12-29T15:13:00.000-06:00

Where has the time gone? This year, our boy became a senior in high school and our girl began the last year of junior high. He had surgery to repair his hand and has been dealing with a condition that has made him feel awful since mid-October. We now know that he's going to be ok and he's on medication that will hopefully alleviate his symptoms until the condition goes away on its own in his mid-20's. We hope it works so he does not have to have any invasive testing or surgeries.

Uncle Bubba and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and our 18th year of being together. We paid off our mobile home. He paid off his (Savanna's) truck and we both bought new cars. We are now having porch's built on the front and back and have plans to renovate the inside, one room at a time.

I've never been one to set resolutions and I don't remember doing it for 2010 and as I look back at the year, I can only wonder, was I the best person I could be? Was I a good wife, mother, employee, friend? I think that sometimes I was and sometimes I wasn't. I can't be the best or even good at everything all the time. I try but I know that I fail and I am able to accept that. I try to learn from those times of failure and try to use it to be better and even at that, sometimes I'm good and sometimes I'm not.

I've loved with all of my being though and to me, that's the best I can offer and I hope that it is enough for those I love. Uncle Bubba and the kids suffer through my failures and they grow when I'm at my best. Together, we are our family, and THAT, is the best we can be.

I've enjoyed my girlfriends and I've tried to be there for them this year and at times, it's been really sucky for some of my friends. I've laughed with them and I've cried with them. I called them and texted them and I even went to Kentucky to hold the hand of one of them. I'm glad I had the opportunity to do all of that this year, even though at times, it was hard and sometimes, I wished for a second that I didn't have online friends because it's so hard when we need each other and we are so far away, but I didn't mean it when I wished for that.

I've met some wonderful people through blogging. Some I've gotten to meet and others I haven't yet, but I adore each of them.

As the year comes to an end and a new year comes into view, I can only hope that next year, I am better at being everything I want to be and I can hope that I have the chance to see my friends even more and that I get the chance to meet even more friends that I haven't met yet.

As Chance gets ready to graduate high school and Savanna looks forward to beginning high school, for a second, but only a second, I wish they were little again because then they were all mine and I didn't have to share them like I have to now, but I know that it's the way it's supposed to be. Them, growing up and on, us growing older and stronger and into new phases.

I wish each and everyone of my readers a Happy New Year and to my family and my friends, I love you with all of me, more than I'll ever be able to show, more than I can express, so just know, when I'm not at my best, I'm hoping and wishing that I was and I know that y'all will love me no matter where I am.

A romantic night with no teenagers

2010-12-28T07:54:00.000-06:00

In the land of Uncle Bubba and Aunt Crazy, this is how that romantic night with no teenagers goes down. Aunt Crazy is pissy cuz the kids are gone and Uncle Bubba won't come home from work. Aunt Crazy puts on her jammies and moves her car so that Uncle Bubba can get his bubba truck close enough to plug it in, and snuggles with her blanket and the remote. Of course, Uncle Bubba chooses that moment to call and say he's about to leave work. He asks me if I want to meet him at Jack in the Box for a romantic dinner. I tell him only if I can join him in my fleece jammies, no bra, and flip flops. He tells me he doesn't really give a shit, he just wants to eat cuz he's starving. So, we have our romantic dinner and then we go home where Aunt Crazy falls asleep watching Uncle Bubba play his new Wii.

This is how we roll y'all!

Today, I'm not here, I'm there...

2010-12-27T10:32:00.000-06:00

http://thesoutherngirlgangchronicles.blogspot.com/
It's a real cute blog, put together by my Southern Girl Gang when they had that fun road trip without me, but I still love them anyway cuz they let me post on the blog and cuz they sent me a pretty, pink koozie from the bar they went too, and cuz they call me one of the gang...so head on over there for a little didy about me trying to be a Southern Girl and a Southern Momma!!!

DONE DONE DONE and Follow Me Back Tuesday

2010-12-21T08:21:00.000-06:00

Since Saturday, I've been DONE, done with the shopping, done with the wrapping, done with getting the stockings ready...DONE, as in put a fork in Aunt Crazy cuz she is D.O.N.E!!! I even made my grocery store run Saturday afternoon! It feels so good to be ready this early. No last minute shopping, no staying up all night wrapping, no being so sleepy on Christmas morning that I can barely function...wooohooo YAY ME!!!

How are y'all doing with your Christmas preparations???

This week, in hopes of finding some great, new, fun, and interesting blogs, I'm linking up for Follow Me Back Tuesday...fun times y'all, fun times!!!

I heart Santa

2010-12-20T09:58:00.002-06:00

I mean, I pink, puffy heart him for real!!!

When I see Santa, I act like any ~~rational adult~~ fool would. I shriek at the top of my voice, "OMG Y'ALL LOOK IT'S SANTA!!!" and I wave furiously, until I get his attention and he usually laughs and then waves back. I mean, seriously, what Santa wouldn't laugh at a 30-something woman acting like a 5 year old. Last year, I was on the 3rd floor of the mall and spotted Santa on the first floor, I leaned over the railing, waving, hollering, fixing to fall the hell over the rail, until FINALLY, he spotted me, he laughed so hard and his belly really did shake and wiggle, and he smiled and waved up at me. My coworker, well, she wasn't quite as enthused as me and well, she wasn't exactly pleased with my antics, frankly, I think she was embarassed, well, her ~~walking~~ running away from me as fast as she could led me to believe she was just a tad embarassed by my behavior.

Yesterday, Savanna and I spotted Santa at the pharmacy...oh yes, yes we did. I squealed and Savanna covered her face and laughed at me, but Santa, he loved me...I'm absolutely sure of it, well that or he thought maybe I was just a tad bit crazy, but whatever, I smiled and waved and he grinned real big and he waved at me too!

Santa has always been a huge part of my family and my life. When I was growing up, we didn't have much and sometimes, life was hard for us and as most families do we struggled in many ways, with money, with getting along, with general strife and unease, but Christmas time was always made to be a magical time of the year. I felt so alive and so loved and it felt like the whole family loved each other a little harder during Christmas time. The kisses were sweeter, the hugs longer and tigher, the I love yous more heartfelt. My Granny made Santa special to my mom and uncles, and my mom made Santa special for my brother and me. There always seemed to be that one, most perfect gift under the tree from Santa, even more perfect gifts from our momma, and Santa filled our stockings with great treats and trinkets. I don't know how my mom managed to do it each year, but she always managed to give us the exact item we wanted, even if we hadn't asked for it or even if we didn't know we wanted it, she made the day and the whole season great. My Granny started these traditions with her kids and if I had to guess I'd say my Big Granny (that's what we called our great grandma) started those traditions with her mess of kids.

I don't recall ever having a big revelation that Santa isn't "real" or ever saying to my mom that I didn't believe anymore. To me, it's about the memories I have of childhood, the traditions that were started generations before me, and that I hope I've managed to pass on to my kids and I hope that we pass along to my grandchildren and so on. To this day, everyone in my family talks about Santa as if he IS real because the traditions are alive and real for us.

Santa is a tradition I love and I believe that Santa comes in all shapes, colors, sizes, races, and sexes.

As a matter of fact, Santa is at my house building me a front porch right now, cuz Uncle Bubba listened to me when I ~~asked~~ BEGGED for a big ole front porch for Christmas this year. On Friday afternoon, another Santa will arrive at my uncle's house and fill stockings and deliver gifts to his grown kids and his grandchildren and for my mom and my brother and my nephew. On Friday night or Saturday morning, yet another Santa will be at my house, arranging gifts so that they look just perfect and filling stockings. On Saturday afternoon, even more Santas will be next door to my house, handing out presents to my neices and nephews and my great-neices and great-nephews.

Santa is who and what each family wants him to be, for me, it's that simple.

Savanna made me laugh today

2010-12-17T15:33:00.000-06:00

Actually, both of my heathen teenagers make me laugh almost every day, but today it was her, via text. I mean, if I don't laugh at them, I may have to strangle them, right????

Savanna: me and my friend are going for a run, is that ok?
Momma Crazy: sure
Savanna: do you want me to take my taser???
Momma Crazy: nope
Savanna: darn

Seriously...the girl is 14, she has a shotgun, a rifle, and a taser AND her daddy wants to buy her another gun, that she's asked for of course, and she'll end up getting it...LOL

Why can't I be THAT mom?

2010-12-16T08:05:00.000-06:00

I mean, I am THAT mom so very often. THAT mom who is yelling at her kids or yelling for her kids or yelling at someone for other kids. THAT mom who questions the rules that are illogical. THAT mom that bucks the system when it makes no sense. THAT mom who, at 36, is still learning when to fight and when to let it go.

Sometimes, I want to be THAT mom though, the one over there, looking cute, always soft-spoken, who follows the rules, who never fights back, who sits quietly while I am yelling at someone in defense of HER kid, the one who has the ability to go with the flow, roll with the punches, who never has to choose to fight or let go because she's just not a fighter.

Most of the time, I'm good with being the fighter, the standerupper, the THAT mom that the kids know will defend them, but sometimes, I get tired, and I lose my fight, and I just can't do it anymore. Today, this week, these past couple of months, the fight in me is just exhausted, yet I push on, wondering, yet again, "why me?"

Aunt Crazy is getting out the soapbox

2010-12-08T15:12:00.000-06:00

Pardon me while I climb my short ass up onto the soapbox. I just feel this overwhelming need to spew this vileness from my fingertips and then hopefully I won't be bothered with it anymore.

I read an article today about a boy that was kicked out of public school for having long hair. His hair is in braids, neatly, and does not reach below his collar, yet he was suspended. Why does the public school care if a student has long hair? Why does the public school get to make different rules for boys and girls?

While I was never subjected to these rules, I have heard of a time when girls had to wear dresses and boys could wear pants. Those rules were changed to reflect the changing times. Why haven't school districts realized that boys and girls can both have long hair? I've seen so many little girls with long hair, looking awful, not taken care of, yet this boy with his neatly done hair is being kicked out of school...I just do not understand it.

I understand that there are rules in place and we have to follow rules we don't necessarily like or agree with but come on, this kid is SIX years old and his hair is neatly done, it's not wild and crazy. Hell, my 14 year old daughter's hair is long, thick, curly, and a hot mess most of the time, but because she has a vagina and not a penis, the school doesn't give a shit? Seriously??? I also understand that in the workplace, there are dress codes and hair rules. As adults, we can CHOOSE where we work, period, we have options. When I accepted my current position with my company, I accepted it knowing that I would have to dress according to the corporate environment, which was a HUGE change from the capris and flip flops I had been wearing for years. I CHOSE that, I made that decision, I had an option. This little boy, he likes his hair, he doesn't want to cut it, he can't choose where he lives or where he goes to school. And for anyone who wants to say that a 6 year old doesn't know what he likes with regard to his hair, I call bullshit. Both of my kids have been very vocal about how they want their hair since they were about 3 or 4 years old, so I certainly believe that this 6 year old boy has an opinion about his own hair.

I know people will agree with me and others will disagree and I'm ok with that. I just don't like that as parents, we have given over such control of our children to public schools that only seem to care about perfect attendance so they can get their daily cash for headcount.

SIGH, I'm climbing down from the soapbox now.

A quick update

2010-12-01T21:43:00.001-06:00

Well, I have a bit of an update on Chance and his heart stuff. He has something called Right Bundle Branch Block. Having this alone, is nothing and millions of people have it and don’t even know it. The problem is that people that have any kind of symptoms typically have another heart condition, which causes symptoms and then when that condition is found, the RBBB is found also. He does not appear to have another condition, but is symptomatic. Today, we saw the cardiologist. He completed another echo in his office and said that he can’t see if Chance has a hole in his heart or not. He said that it’s difficult to see the heart well on an echo when one had lots of chest muscles. Damn that son of my for being all muscley and in shape and shit.

Soooo…for now, we wait, BUT, what I do know is that he has not had a heart attack, he has nothing in his blood work that indicates his heart muscle is being damaged and whatever he has is NOT life threatening. I can breathe again. I’ll find out shortly if I can sleep. I’ve spent the last 4 weeks or so spending every second wondering if he was going to drop dead. Scary shit, let me just tell ya!!!

Mid January, he’s having a test called the table-tilt test, then we’ll see the dr again at the end of January. At that point, he will most likely be scheduled to have a procedure done that will allow the dr to look at his heart from the inside. They do this by using minor sedation and then putting a camera into his leg and up through his chest to view the heart from the inside. That test will tell us if he had a hole in his heart or any other condition that will require treatment. Also, the cardiologist we are seeing can do repairs to both electrical and structural issues, so we will not need to be seen by anyone else no matter what the final diagnosis is.

Chance has throbbing pain in the center of his chest all the time, he never gets any relief. If he exerts himself in any way at all, it becomes worse and he can’t catch his breath. He is weak all of the time and he tires easily. On top of that, he wakes in the night in pain, so he’s not sleeping well either. He is a JOY to live with, let me tell you. I have to call the dr tomorrow to discuss pain management until we find out the full diagnosis and treatment.

So, all of that to say, I don’t fucking know what’s wrong with my kid, but what I do know is that he’s not going to die and I can live with that for the short term.

My Wedding Dress Story

2010-11-29T09:34:00.001-06:00

This is my 200th post y'all...dang I talk a lot!

I'm linking up with Texan Mama today to tell the story of my wedding dress.

I had a pretty dress. It was ivory and had puffy sleeves to go with that 1995 puffy hair! LOL I had originally planned to have our wedding outside, so I picked a dress that was appropriate for the grass and outside dancing and BBQ. After I bought it, I got scared of this infamous Texas weather and decided to have it inside in case it rained. After that, I really didn't love my dress anymore, cuz I wanted a train, but it was still pretty. I had a redneck wedding, I wish I could have another wedding, done my way, ya know all girly, with pink everywhere and sparkly bling stuff, but I digress. The girls had red Scarlett O'Hara dresses and the boys had tux jackets with black Wranglers, black boots, bolo ties, of course those black, felt hats...sigh my beating heart!

I don't think I'd change anything abut our wedding but I would like to have another one done my way.

p.s. Congrats to the Mavericks on a third round playoff win this past weekend!!! Do it again this weekend!!!

The annual family reunion

2010-11-24T13:12:00.000-06:00

Even though I brought both of my cameras, I never took a picture...imagine that!

This is Uncle Bubba's annual family reunion in East Texas, yep with the rednecks. We decided to have Christmas with his mom and sisters and all the family on Friday night and the reunion was Saturday and Sunday.

When we got to his mom's house, LB and Pickle ran to give me hugs, as if they hadn't just seen me a couple days before, but I love their hugs. Pickle hugs me tight and says, "Crazy, I love you new haircut!"

Sweet, no??? "Cept, I haven't had a haircut y'all...LOL I guess he sees me in a ponytail so often that my "did" hair was a new haircut to him. Christmas was fun, the babies loved their gifts and it was a great way to kick off the holiday season. I hope we do this every year.

One cousin reportedly told my son at last year's reunion that he needed to check out that pretty girl right there, my son tells him that she was his own cousin, the reply of one cousin, "well, cousins is for practice!" Rednecks, y'all, rednecks!

Saturday, LB dragged me to checked out the chickens and then made me play "tag" with her, until I was gasping for air and begging for someone to light me a smoke...LMFAO

Sunday, Pickle told me he wanted a drink. I always give him Dr. Pepper, cuz Aunt Crazy is good like that, and as we were walking toward the cooler, he says, "Crazy, are you SICK???" I said, "nope, Pickle, do I look sick?" He said, "if you not sick, I want YOU drink" LMFAO that kid cracks me UP!!!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm thankful for so very much, but mostly my family and my friends.

Y'all travel safe, enjoy the day, eat too much, and watch a lot of football. I'm not a big football person, but I hear those Aggies are traveling to Austin to take on the Horns. HOOK 'EM Horns!!!

p.s. our local high school, where my son is a senior, is playing in the third round of football playoffs this weekend. Our town has gone crazy...red and blue everywhere, community pep rallies, signs in windows. It's what small town Texas Friday Night Lights is all about I guess. I'm loving it!!! Go Mavs...kick some Indian ass this weekend!!!

Poor Chance

2010-11-22T09:45:00.000-06:00

For the love of Dr. Pepper, the poor kid can't catch a break!!!

He doesn't feel good and we still don't know what's going on with his heart. His chest hurts all the time, he has a hard time breathing, he can't do anything "strenuous", and he's plain sick of being sick.

Let's see...this weekend alone: he doesn't feel well, then he gets his truck buried in the mud in the pasture, then the deer stand he's hauling falls off the trailer on the road, then he is fighting with his girlfriend, then he gets a speeding ticket, and then, today, he wakes up with a sore throat, a runny nose, and all that mess.

I told him he's having a shitty weekend and Monday, his response, "you ain't lying!"

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

About my boy

2010-11-12T13:48:00.000-06:00

Chance has been complaining of his chest hurting and that it hurts when he breathes in. This started about 4 weeks back. I figured it was indigestion and had him take Tums. It persisted. Last Friday, he saw his dr and she had him have a chest x-ray and an EKG. The chest x-ray came back normal. We had not heard anything about the EKG as of yesterday. Yesterday, he woke up in pain, went to school, and then began texting me about it. I called the dr, they told me to send him to the school nurse. The school nurse recommended we take him to the ER, as did our dr because if we went to the dr office, they would have to send him for more tests anyway. The ER dr was able to view the EKG from Monday and it was abnormal. They did bloodwork, urine tests, and another EKG yesterday. The blood and urine were both normal but the 2nd EKG was abnormal again. The test is showing a delay in a conductor on the right side of his heart. The ER dr spoke with a cardiologist, but I did not. They told her to tell me to call our dr and see a cardiologist. This morning, I spoke with our dr office again and he is scheduled to have an Echocardiogram on Tuesday afternoon. Once that test is evaluated and the report sent to our dr, which can take up to 2 weeks, they will call me with further instructions. The ER dr thinks that his chest pain is NOT related to this delay. She feels that he strained himself either doing exercise or lifting something heavy. I disagree, I feel like it's either reflux or anxiety, but I will address that with our own dr the next time we see her.

At this point, I am not overly concerned, because we are taking the necessary steps to get a finalized diagnosis, but it's hard not to worry a little bit.

Thank goodness for excellent insurance and Texas Children's Hospital!!!

Is it just me???

2010-11-10T16:04:00.001-06:00

Or does something about this not sit well???

My daughter missed school last Friday, she's in junior high school, 8th grade. Friday night, we attended the high school football game.

Monday morning, she was called into the office and asked why she wasn't at school and why she was at the game. She was told that it is against school district policy for a student who misses school to attend any after school event, at all, ever. She was told that she could be asked to leave an event if it happened again and she could be punished. She felt like they were trying to intimidate her and did not respond kindly. She told them that she wasn't feeling well and that she was at that game with her parents and to call them. She was then told that her "disrespect" would not be tolerated and if she did not stop it, she would be given in school suspension.

I forgot to send a note, but we have 3 days to do so and in all of my years of parenting a school aged child I have never had one questioned about their absence nor have I been contacted about an absence. If a note is sent, it's marked excused, if no note is sent, it's marked unexcused.

Now, I've always known the rule is if you aren't at school, you can not participate in an after school event. She was a spectator, not an active participant.

I called and spoke with the person that had this discussion with her who tried to tell me that he was only trying to inform her of the district policies. He made it all sound very sweet and kind. My question was why didn't he contact one of her parents. She's a kid, she can't drive herself, we had her stay home and we took her to the game, so to me, that's an adult conversation. He said he disagreed and has the right to question students as he sees fit and is not obligated to contact parents. She said that the attendance clerk pulled her from the lunch line to fill out some form because she did not have a note and that the man questioning her was nasty and used a mean, hateful tone from the get go, that he was not being nice at all.

Well...the person taking tickets at the game Friday night is the attendance clerk at her school. So, bright and early Monday morning, she told the vice principal that she had been absent but at the game, which is what brought all this on. WTF...who does that and why? What was the point? She walked into the football game with both of her parents, the woman spoke to both of us, but did not bother to say anything at that time, she waited and had her called into the office for this???

I have searched high and low and can not locate this policy anywhere on our district website. I asked for the vice principal to send it to me in writing, but he won't, or at least he hasn't.

In the long run, I know it is a non-issue but it really pissed me off!!!

Monday, Monday, Monday

2010-11-08T09:25:00.001-06:00

So, it turns out, I am older than I like to admit AND retail therapy does help with bad moods, sadness, and emotionally instability.

I played volleyball with the family Saturday. Two things happened, one, I injured my foot, yep the one I broke twice earlier this year, and two, I could barely freakin move on Sunday cuz my entire body hurt. I'm guessing this should not surprise me, especially when I said several times on Saturday, dang, this volleyball stuff is exhausting and I can't breathe good, will someone light me a smoke??? LMFAO Plus, having to get help walking to my car, having to beg Uncle Bubba to help me to the bedroom to help me change into my pj's, should have clued me in that I'm old and out of shape and that Sunday was going to be painful...however, it did not, and I was surprised that every time I had to pee, my ass hurt from the hard toilet seat. I will be buying a softer toilet seat ASAP...just sayin!

I got these really cute, smoking hot, hooker boots Saturday morning. That alone made me smile and since I got them for a GREAT price, I was smiling really big! YAY ME!!!

I was able to walk on my foot yesterday but not very much and not very well. It is wrapped right now and I'm wearing shoes, but it's hurting really bad and I'm thinking about seeing a doctor. I'm afraid to though because the last time I saw him, he told me I had another broken bone in my foot and I cried like a little bitch, so I'm terrified that if he tells me I am hurt and need that stupid NOT sexy boot, I may have to be institutionalized or at the very least, heavily medicated. I don't think either of those things would be good for me but Uncle Bubba might be overjoyed to finally get to leave me at the state hospital with my friend, Andrea Yates, cuz y'all know he threatens to leave me there every time we go to his dad's place in Rusk. Yep, that Uncle Bubba, he's got jokes!

p.s. I had to get a new monitor at work and it's wide screen, which is really weird looking to me since I've had a normal screen for so long. I'm not sure I like it or if I'll ever be able to get used to looking at my screen like this...it's just weird!

Friday...I found you

2010-11-05T12:21:00.000-05:00

It's been a LONG week. I've cried ~~some~~ a LOT and I hate to cry. It's silliness in the long run but it hurts nonetheless. Too much to really go into and honestly not all that important in the grand scheme of things, but it keeps floating around inside of me, like a bully pinching my heart, hurting and pissing me off all over again, and when I get mad, I cry, so there's that stupid crying again...sigh

It will pass, doesn't it always?

Looking forward to a peaceful weekend. Friday night lights tonight! My son's best friend is playing in his last high school hometown football game, cuz they are both seniors. It's hard to believe I met this boy when he was about 7 or so. He was on Chance's baseball team way back then and Uncle Bubba was their coach. Fun times, those days! These boys, young men actually, they are making their way through life right now. On the verge of graduating, planning a senior trip to South Padre for Spring Break, growing up. It makes my heart smile but it brings tears to my eyes too. I'm so proud of the young men they have become, the friendship they have developed, and I look forward to seeing where they go on their path of life.

Saturday is a birthday party for a cousin, at a park, with BBQ and volleyball...yay! The weather this weekend is perfect for it, sunny and about 65.

Sunday is softball practice for Savanna and getting ready for the next week.

Check out my new digs!!!

2010-10-27T08:00:00.001-05:00

I got a new blog design!!! If you're in a reader, please come on over to the real thing and take a look!!!

During the Monkey Mission, Leiah won a new blog design in the raffle but since she'd just had her precious blog redone, she kindly offered it to ME...yay me!!!

Jessica at The Frilly Coconut had graciously offered a blog design as part of the raffle and I think she did an absolutely fantabulous job here!

I love my new look!!!

p.s. I've got a new button also be sure and grab it iffin ya wanna!!!

TST 10/26/10

2010-10-26T12:32:00.000-05:00

My great niece, LB, she is just precious. She's what I call "scary smart" meaning that she's so damn smart her momma should be skeered and she is cuz Aunt Crazy taught her well. Well, that and LB's momma was Savanna's babysitter for a summer and when Savanna got mad at something my niece did or said, well one time anyway, Savanna threw a battery at her and it hit her in the head. Oh and just so you know, people call Savanna "cannon" cuz she has a cannon for a throwing arm. Yep, that girl of mine, she's a catcher! Anyway, if my niece learned anything from me or that battery throwing 4 year old Savanna, it's listen to Aunt Crazy cuz she's smart and always right!

Moving on, last week, LB was playing in the yard and came running to her momma showing her what she had deemed the best rock EVER cuz it was so pretty and old and beat up and cracked all over. LB's momma gushed over that most beautiful rock EVER until LB proudly proclaimed that it was her "CRACK ROCK" and told this to anyone who would listen. Oh yes y'all she did! She put her CRACK ROCK on display and showed it off and told everyone it was her CRACK ROCK. LB's momma however did not think this was as cute and funny as everyone else did! That girl, she's gonna be trouble in ten years when she's 13 instead of 3...bwahahahahaha

Keyboarding 101

2010-10-21T14:59:00.000-05:00

I can feel the time rushing by. I can feel the days running together. Wasn't it just New Year's day? Is it really almost Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas???

For the love of Dr. Pepper, please, give me a damn break!

I work and I go to school online. I signed up for another online class at the community college cuz I need some lower level classes. Me, just call me fucking brilliant, cuz, well mostly, call me that cuz I am, but seriously, sometimes, I have to wonder, what happens to my thinking skills???

I skimmed through the 8 week mini semester options. So many too choose from! Me, I'm all about taking the easy way when I can, aren't y'all??? Liars...you know you want things to be done the easy way.

So, in all of my brilliant glory, I chose...wait for it...wait...are you ready??? I picked Keyboarding. Why yes, yes that is another word for typing. I thought to myself, Self, you've been typing for 20 years, this will be nice and easy. Myowndamnself said back to myowndamnself, Self, this is a really smart idea!

I signed up, I bought the book, I tried to download everything to my work computer, cuz, well, while they pay me to work, I do sometimes squeeze in some school work and hoped this would be no different. Boy, was I wrong. Fine, I downloaded everything on my laptop at home and off we go! I read the syllabus, email my agreement with the class contracts, email the instructor that I'm ready and that I am checking in, and begin with lesson one.

OMeffinG y'all...who the hell knew it was so fucking hard to type??? I mean, I type a lot, all day, I chat, I text, I know where the damn keys are! Apparently, I also use that little backspace key quite a bit to correct my errors. Did you know that the online typing class frowns up that little action right there? Let that just sink in for a minute. THEN add to that the fact that the laptop keyboard is NOT my friend, as a matter of fact, I truly believe that the bastard HATES me with a passion at this point. I mean, I got through the first weeks TEN lessons and hopefully did well enough to pass. One week down, seven more weeks to go!!!

At this point, I only need to pass, because I have no hopes of earning that coveted A in Keyboarding 101 even though I've been typing for 20 years.

TGIF

2010-10-15T07:55:00.002-05:00

Click the button for some great letter reading...it's fun, do it!

Dear Rachel,
You made my day, my week, hell, my MONTH with your post today...I LOVE IT!!!

Love,
Aunt Crazy

Dear life,
Slow down! Please? Thanks!

Love,
Aunt Crazy

Dear followers,
I'm sorry for whatever I've done to make you leave me, but this week I've lost two of you. I hope I get more followers soon!

Love,
Aunt Crazy

The catch up blog post, cuz sometimes I suck at blogging

2010-10-13T12:21:00.000-05:00

Last week was full of the insane, crazy thing we call our life.

Let's see if I can re-cap it:

Monday: Volleyball practice after school means she's at school from 8am til 5:45pm, pitching lesson 8-9pm which we skipped so Savanna could hang out with her friend at a 4H meeting instead.
Tuesday: Volleyball practice before school, which means she's at school from just before 7am until 4pm when they get out. This is also the day I had that brilliant idea about making mums for the volleyball team. While Savanna was at the junior high football games, I was running back and forth between craft stores buying the stuff.
Wednesday: Volleyball practice before school, which means she's at school from just before 7am until 4pm when they get out. She has softball practice on Wednesdays, but she skipped to ride in the homecoming parade. While she was there, I was at home cutting ribbons and attempting to organize making 12 mums. When she got home from the parade, she put 12 of them mostly together.
Thursday: Volleyball practice before school, game after school, we got home and still had to put the finishing touches on the mums and make a 13th mum.
Friday: Volleyball practice before school (where we delivered the mums) and a tournament started that night. I called in sick this day to deliver mums, go back to take pics after they got dressed from athletics class, shopped, got my hair done, did some laundry, and got stuff ready for the tournament. Chance's homecoming game was this night, his last one for his school cuz he's a senior!!!
Saturday: Savanna's 14th birthday, they got 2nd place in the tournament. Her birthday party was from 9-midnight that night. She got tons of cash, some cute Texas Longhorn stuff, and from us, an iPod Touch. Oh and in case I forgot to mention, yes, yes my mother gave my daughter a taser for her birthday!!! LOL
Sunday: She went to a birthday party for some (twin) friends and horrible mother that I am, I let her skip practice to go! Uncle Bubba, Chance & his girlfriend, and me all went to my nephew's 2nd birthday party.
Monday morning about 2am, Savanna woke up puking her guts out, so I called in again. Turns out, more than half the volleyball team, one of the twins (who spent his bday party sleeping), and several other boys were sick as well. Oh and they had no school. My son had an upset stomach too. I did post on FB that while I felt bad for them for being sick on their day off, the mean mom inside me did feel as if it was some (but only a little dang) revenge for having to attempt to survive their teenaged years. Obviously, she skipped pitching this night too.
Tuesday: She stayed home again because she was still really weak. She asked me to take her to the batting cages last night since she skipped practice and I did but $10 in the cages wore her ass out!
Today: I'm tired, everyone is tired. She's back at school today. She even went to practice, which was moved from 7am to 8am. No one bothered to tell her that and the coach did not notify anyone. One would think that if half the team is absent one day and you change practice time for the next day, a phone call or email would be appropriate, but apparently NOT! So my kid and at least one other that I know of spent an hour outside the school this morning, alone.

After reading all that, it feels like my son isn't mentioned much but he's a senior. He goes to school half day, works half day, and spends most of his remaining time with his girlfriend or friends. He doesn't have much time for us.

Because I love you, here are some pictures!!!

The mums!!!

2010-10-13T09:47:00.000-05:00

What was I thinking???

2010-10-06T14:12:00.000-05:00

OMG y'all, how do I get myself into these types of messes???

Our hometown homecoming game is this Friday night, well my daughter's volleyball team has a tournament, so they can not attend. Well, I apparently lost control of my senses (read that as never has any form of control, thus the name Aunt Crazy) and decided that it would be really sweet and great for the girls if I made small mums for the team to wear to school Friday and to their game Friday night.

There are TEN girls and a coach y'all...in case you can't quite grasp that total, it's ELEVEN!!!

Yep, I'll be making ELEVEN homecoming mums tonight...someone may have to rescue me from myowndamnself at some point because obviously, I'm incapable of making well thought out decisions.

True Story Tuesday 10/05/10

2010-10-05T13:20:00.000-05:00

Since Pickle moved right around the corner from Aunt Crazy and Uncle Bubba, he's been spending some time at our place. Every time Pickle Daddy tells Pickle it is time to go home, Pickle replies with, "I no need go home Pickle Daddy"

Only, instead of saying Pickle Daddy, he uses his daddy's real name y'all and it cracks me up, I swear it does! I'm trying so hard not to laugh because I don't want him to think it's ok to tell his daddy no or to call him by his first name, but the look on his face, his tone, the way he says it, it's hilarious! Especially cuz he says he doesn't NEED to go home, not that he doesn't WANT to go home!

I'm also linking up with Follow Me Back Tuesday!

And the winner is...

2010-10-04T10:20:00.000-05:00

This is the magical way that I picked the winner of the $25 Dress Barn gift certificate...

christy says: hey

christy says: pick a number between one and eight

christy says: PLEASE

Aunt Crazy's mom says: 6

christy says: thanks

Aunt Crazy's mom says: sure

christy says: you just chose the winner of a gift card from my blog commenters

Aunt Crazy's mom says: lol

So, my momma picked number 6 and number 6 is MR. DADDY!!!

Mr. Daddy, please email me your address and I'll mail the gift card to you!!!

Thanks to Dress Barn

2010-09-28T14:24:00.000-05:00

Last Friday night my daughter and I went to a grand opening of a new Dress Barn store. This is the first store with the new layout and design. The store is HUGE and has ladies sizes on one side and women's sizes on the other. The dressing rooms were AMAZING! They were roomy and comfy. The staff was so sweet and helpful to not only me, but they were so welcoming to my daughter. The other customers in the store were being helped by everyone as well and they were smiling and trying on new clothes. The store manager and the district managers were very gracious hostesses. Visit the Dress Barn website, they have really great stuff!

Leave a comment telling me why you want to be the WINNER of a $25 Dress Barn gift card and on Monday 10/04/10, I will randomly draw a winner from the comments.

I was not paid to give this review. I attended the grand opening by invitation and all customers that visited the store were given a discount on their purchase. The opinions here are MINE, ALL MINE!!!

Letters of Intent 09/24/10

2010-09-24T15:12:00.001-05:00

The Blog Dominator herself is hosting her weekly meme, Letters of Intent. It's fun times, so just do it, ok? Got it? Good!

Dear teammates,
Step it up, communicate more, and work faster. Please, thank you!

Aunt Crazy

Dear airline that pissed me off,
I was having a really, really bad day, hell, a bad week. WHY oh WHY did you have to have a FOUR HOUR delay on a day that I was not exactly emotionally stable, causing me to CRY in the airport? What started out as a 15 minute delayed ended up with me sitting in the dang terminal for FOUR HOURS, waiting, NOT so patiently for a flight. In a strange city, with the smoking area eleventy billion miles away from my terminal, and each time I went to smoke, I had to go back through security. You know, take off my shoes, pull out my laptop, take my ziploc bag of liquids out of my purse. It was ridiculous! All you had to say was "we're sorry" no offer of a drink or food or another flight, nothing, just "we're sorry" and more waiting. Seriously, get it together. Oh and this was AFTER my first flight was overbooked to the point that you had to have passenger bags checked at the gate area AND ask THREE passengers to catch another flight, BUT, those three passengers, they were offered $350 towards another flight...seriously??? You intentionally overbooked, then gave FREE checked bags to other passengers after I paid $25 to check my bag, and then gave money to passengers that you moved to another flight, but when I was in the terminal, NOT so patiently waiting for my connector flight for FOUR HOURS, all I got was "we're sorry"...RIDICULOUS!!!

Aunt Crazy

Dress Barn event!

2010-09-24T11:55:00.000-05:00

I was invited to attend a grand opening at a new Dress Barn store tonight. I will blog about the event AND they are giving me a gift card and a discount coupon to give away on my blog!

The very first thing I did was run out to the local store and see if they had a size I could wear. I did not know this at the time, but Dress Barn has a women's line of clothing as well as the misses sizes. I was so happy, I could fit into the missses sizes because I did not know about the women's stores yet. I was THRILLED to be able to fit into the sizes in the regular store because after years of shopping at the women's stores, I'm ready to be in the regular store. Anyhappydanceway, I shopped until I dropped and told them I would be more than happy to attend the event!

Stay tuned, more details to come!!!

TST is BACK

2010-09-21T15:32:00.000-05:00

YAY True Story Tuesday is back from its summer break and I'm back from Kentucky.

After you read my funny stuff, click the picture and read even more funny stories.

Our great-niece, LB, came to stay the evening with us last week so her parents could go to a concert. She's never stayed with anyone but her grandma, so she was a little apprehensive, but excited to go see "her vanny" as she calls my Savanna. But...to tell the story right, you gotta know that a couple weeks back I saw her and when she saw my phone, she said, "Crazy you have Blackberry?" I died laughing, she's not even 3, and she knew what it was, well come to find out, she has a Blackberry. It doesn't work or anything, but she has one too. So, last week, she shows up at the house and says "Crazy, I bringed my Chanel purse, look!" I cracked up and asked if her Blackberry was in it. She said, "No, just my extra panties!"

Gotta love a girl that is prepared, right?!?!?!

Miley is a HOT RAWKstar! (written by Miley)

2010-09-17T13:38:00.000-05:00

OK y'all, Aunt Crazy has asked me to fill in for her while she's away which is FABULICIOUS! Yesterday you saw a guest blog by Jennifer Juniper, who happens to be one of my BFFs in real life. We've known each other since high school. So, when Aunt Crazy asked us to fill in for her, I get a message from Jenn to call her. I do and she says "We are RAWK STARS!" I said "duh". We've had this conversation lots in the last 10 years, Jenn...

BUT, since I have a blog and Jenn has a blog and since we get to share a brain sometimes, it's like double duty, ESPECIALLY when we talk about bloggy friends and bloggy things.

THEN she tells me we were asked to fill in for none other than Aunt Crazy! Oh holy smack me with a crawfish!

A GUEST BLOG?! *gasp* We are so cool now.

I had to think really hard about what it was I wanted to tell y'all about. I mean, I have a completely insane life, I'm WAY too introspective, no job, too much school, two kids, a douchey ex husband and an ex boyfriend who... well... we're trying to be friends.

(this is relevant, promise)

I moved to Texas 4 years ago from Louisiana in a desperate attempt to save my marriage. Well, that didn't work out so well. 18 months later, we decided to get divorced. (2.5 years ago)

I was not an abused wife but I was beaten down emotionally which sucked. He told me he was ashamed to be seen in public with me because I was so fat. You know, things like that. It totally didn't help that my self esteem was crushed throughout middle and high school because I was 5'9" and curvy. The whole "I want a pencil thin short trixie bitch who will stab me with her hip when we bang" type girl was "it", not me.

THIS is me:

Maybe you can't tell but I'm a TINY bit thicker than the trixies.

Then, when you get divorced and you live in a strange town and your mommy isn't here and you only have one friend and you work for a tee tiny company, it's LONELY. Your self esteem suffers from these things.

I met the ex bf and he was just fine about the body stuff but things happened and I'm REALLY hard on myself, so it was emotionally tough throughout our relationship to maintain my self esteem. I don't blame him, just the situations we ended up in that caused the "lowlights".

Ex bf and I were together off & on for 2 years, finally ending things at the beginning of this year. Since then, I've felt pretty down. Who wouldn't? Plus, it's not like I've lost any weight since I got divorced, so I'm still apparently too fat to be seen in public with a douchebag. Then the whole "not many friends" stuff.

WELL... Guess what folks?

I am a H-O-T-T-I-E!

Can you believe it? I know I can't.

I don't know what it is but I am getting hit on left and right... I mean, people are hitting on me like Mohammed Ali! What is UP with that? This is a COMPLETELY foreign concept to me!

Example, I had a summer class and some guy named Erik (who is my age) borrowed my notes. He offered to "meet up with me later" to bring them back and asked if maybe I wanted to study with him. My response? "oh, no, I'll be studying for my other class all weekend".

Stupid woman say WHAT?! I completely missed the fact that he was hitting on me. TOTALLY missed it.

THEN, people in my other classes are hitting on me... and I'm noticing that people are looking at me. I mean, not JUST because I spill food on my shirt but LOOKING at me... you know, like how Slick Willy looked at Monica Lewinsky! It got a little awkward when the coach at the college couldn't stop staring at my boobs, or when the other teacher stuck his tongue out at me seductively after days of staring at my boobs (seriously, what's with that? I do NOT wear revealing clothes!)

I get when the "brothas" do it because I DO have this huge ghetto booty but the others? Completely foreign. I mean, whities just don't come near me. They want trixies!

My favorite, though, was this... This is a totally true story. This was my Tuesday morning.

I wake up, go to put in a new pair of contacts and my left eye rejects it. I clean it, rinse, try again. WORSE pain. I'm now doing the "holy fuck, get that fucking contact out of my fucking eye" dance (it's kinda like the peepee dance, only with more tears, more pain and a finger in your eye) and I FINALLY manage to scrape it off my eye. Serious pain here, my eye looks like I have the WORST case of pink eye EVER and I never get the contact in. I'm legally blind without 'em, so I have one eye that is now "stupid" because it can't see. I also think I scratched my eye getting the lens out of it.

I have kickboxing on Tuesday mornings. I take a shower right after so I generally don't shower Monday evenings/Tuesday mornings because I don't want my skin to get all dry. So, my hair was naaaasty! Plus, I hadn't even bothered to brush it yet because I was just going to put it in a bun for class anyway. I rolled out of bed, put on my workout clothes - including a shirt that should NEVER be worn in public - fight with and damage my eye, and head to the gas station for a giant bottle of water.

I got hit on.

Y'all, I kid you not, I got hit on HARD.

I'm walking out of the gas station and I hear "How married are YOU?"

I turn around. There is the budweiser delivery guy - TALKING TO ME!

"I just think you are GORGEOUS"

Me: (he's insane. mentally retarded. Blind?) "Oh, thanks."

Him: "Are you married?"

Me: "no, happily divorced. I gotta get to class"

(ok, there was a little bit more to it than that, but that was my line for "i'm not giving you my number")

The thing is, the guy was moderately attractive. And white.

I was WAY out of his league, though. I'm talking... WAY. And not just because of the way he looked or the way he was dressed or his hideous pickup line or the way he was looking at me... It was the way he spoke, the speech patterns and the words used. That with everything else... Everything in my body said "No, I'm WAY out of his league".

However, it was at that moment that I realized something.

I've never thought of myself as being way out of ANYONE's league before. Therefore, I am a hottie on the outside... but I finally know it on the inside.

OMIGOSH, I'm a H-O-T RAWKstar!

Thanks for reading y'all!

~Miley

Jennifer Juniper Comes to Aunt Crazy's

2010-09-16T17:28:00.000-05:00

Aunt Crazy is on hiatus, and since she now knows that we all cry ourselves to sleep at night without her blog, she asked me to write a guest post for her.

I feel like such a RAWKSTAR, I mean really, because we all know that Aunt Crazy is the shit, so for her to ask me.. well, that’s freaking awesome.

Plus, this is my first guest post ever, so I feel all validated.

My name is Jennifer Juniper and I have a little blog with the same name. Mostly I write about the randomness of my life with my husband and two kiddoes.

I call my husband Bean and he is a procrastinator of the finest caliber.

When I ask him to do something “tomorrow” I always have to clarify that I want it done on “my tomorrow” not “Bean tomorrow”.

He’s not lazy, he just gets ~~bored~~ distracted.

So when I texted him today and asked if he had called to make a doctor’s appointment and he didn’t immediately respond with an absolute “yes”, I had to call and check.

Me:Did you make an appointment with Dr. Smith.

Bean: Not yet.

Me: Are you going to??

Bean: Yes…..

Me: Ok.. so right now??

Bean: Well, which Dr. Smith? Because my other doctor is Dr. Smith too.

Me: Dr. Joe Smith.

Bean: And what’s the other Dr. Smith’s name??

Me:(what difference does it make?? Just call Dr. Joe!!)B. Jim Smith. Why??

Bean:Well, because they’re both Dr. Smith.

Me:??

Bean: What’s my other doctor’s name??

Me: (who cares!! Just call Dr. Joe F-ing Smith!!) I don’t know. Why??

Bean: I just wondered because Dr. B Jim Smith referred me to him.

Me: (So what?!?!? Just call Dr. Joe F-ing Smith!!) ok?? Can you please call and make an appointment with Dr. Joe Smith??

Bean: Yes.

And people wonder why I'm moderately insane..

My heart hurts, on my birthday SIGH

2010-09-14T10:38:00.002-05:00

It's my crappy 36th birthday.

One of my closest friends lost her step-dad yesterday, I decided to fly and be with her, the ticket prices were amazing. I should have freaking known it was too good to be true. AFTER I put in my credit card number, the price TRIPLED and NO I wasn't charged, but that's not the point.

I'm so sad that I can be there with her :(

This weekend

2010-09-10T14:44:00.002-05:00

My birthday is next week...sigh

This weekend, Uncle Bubba is taking me to Louisiana, just us, no kids, isn't that like a DATE or something???

We have to meet one of his customers in Slidell to delivery some parts, then we are going to spend the day in New Orleans. We are then going to our favorite casino for the night and will head home Sunday morning!

Fun times!!!

Happy Blogoversary to Aunt Crazy!!!

2010-09-09T17:35:00.001-05:00

I can’t believe I’ve had this blog an entire year! I’ve met several great people and that makes me smile.

Bonus…I’m getting some of my favorite memories put into a place where they will be forever available!

Thanks for reading and thanks for becoming my friends!

BYE BYE BYE

2010-09-02T08:15:00.000-05:00

We've had bees.

An infestation of bees, that for some godforsaken reason Uncle Bubba took a kind-hearted approach too and did not want to have them killed. Bees that built a GINORMOUS beehive and honeycomb UNDER our mobile home. Bees that have lived under our home for ~~a fucking decade~~ about three years. These bees mostly minded their owndamnbusiness unless my son was within an eleventy billion mile radius. Me, Uncle Bubba, our daughter, the neighbors, ANYONE except our son, could be around and the bees were just fine. My son, those bees loved to chase and attack him.

So, FINALLY, I called a bee keeper yesterday morning and he came out last night to remove the bees. It took him 3.5 hours to get them all...but he did...ALL of them. There must have been THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of bees underneath our home, but they are all gone.

FIVE of us were standing on the road, watching the bee keeper work his magic, and my son got stung. Seriously, FIVE of us, and he is the ONLY one...I just don't get it!!!

Uncle Bubba needs a little TLC today cuz his little heart is broken cuz those bees have found a new home!

Showing my friend some love

2010-08-31T12:46:00.001-05:00

My friend, Canada Stacy, she's having a rough time right now. The last two weeks have kicked her in the heart, the ass, and the mind. She needs some thoughts, prayers, love, whatever it is you do, please, show her some of it, including comment love and compassion.

I love her! We met online way back in 2000. We have met in person several times now and I didn't think it was possible to love her more when I actually met her than I did from knowing her online, but I do.

Plus, she makes a GREAT bed partner...LOL

So, for me, for her, for all that is holy, go on over and show her some comment love and compassion, PLEASE!!!

Stacy...I promise, this smile will grace your face soon and your heart will heal!

Aunt Crazy loves you the mostest!!!

P.S. it's times like this that makes it hard for me to accept that my friends live in the computer and so very far away, because if I could get to Canada right this very minute, I would be there, holding her hand, giving her beer and chips, and giving her gatorade and Advil for the morning after.

TGIF this has been a LONG week

2010-08-27T13:38:00.000-05:00

Saturday and Sunday the girl had softball tryouts. She didn't make the Saturday team. The Sunday team had another tryout on Tuesday and she went to that. Wednesday she had a tryout with another team. Thursday and Friday she had volleyball tryouts. We have not heard back from the Saturday and Tuesday team and I found out today they are having another day of tryouts this Sunday. The Wednesday team wants her but we aren't sure we want them, but it is starting to look like that may be our only option. She should know by the time school gets out today if she makes the volleyball team and if she does whether it's the A or B team. This was the first week of school as well. There are other tryouts for softball teams this weekend but I have no idea at this point what she will do about that. I know she's exhausted and if the team she wants to play on doesn't offer her a spot on the team, I think she's going to be heartbroken and may not want to tryout anymore right now.

The boy started his SENIOR year! I swear it was yesterday that we took him to Kindergarten. He got his schedule fixed the way he wanted it and only goes 5 classes a day. He's out of school by 1pm. Now...he needs to find a job...LOL The speeding ticket he got months ago was dismissed and the other speeding ticket he recently got will be taken care of with a defensive driving class and deferred. Thank goodness!!!

Uncle Bubba has been working eleventybillion hours and he's tired too. Hell, we are all exhausted and I'm hoping like hell we get some rest this weekend.

Also, hats off to the Pearland Little League All Star team for making it to the US championship game tomorrow. Good luck boys! Do what you do and you'll come out winners!!! All of Texas is rooting for y'all!!!

Have a GREAT weekend my friends :)

The Crazy Rusty Roadtrip...my side

2010-08-26T07:31:00.000-05:00

First, you must read Candance's two tales here and here, then read Leiah's, and then come back for mine, cuz well, it's MY side, which is most important, right, RIGHT???

Done yet? Hell, y'all are some slow readers, or are you changing clothes cuz you pissed yourself laughing?

Well, seeing as how I only live about an hour from the outlet mall and both of those beotches were NOT on time, I hit the Target and the Wal-Mart before meeting Leiah in the parking lot of the hotel. Leiah, well, her a/c was out in her car, so she was soooo HAWT and those rollers, OH MY HELL, I loved the rollers in her hair!!! I was all, Leiah get in MY car, it has a/c, but she didn't, cuz she doesn't listen well. Meanwhile, Candance was texting us that she would be there in 2 miles, 1.5 miles, 1 mile, where are y'all...finally, we just went into the lobby in our matching orange shirts...that we did not plan...lol

Leiah took her southern belle, rollered up hair into the bathroom, and when she came out y'all...holy cow! She had cute hair and lipstick...total transformation. I'm soooo looking forward to learning to be a proper Southern Belle so that I can stay in the Southern Belle Girl Gang, cuz well, they let me in cuz I'm funny and from Texas, but if I wear my white pants or shoes after Labor Day, they SWEAR they are gonna kick me out.

I did say some funny stuff and make Candance spew Amp outta her mouth, TWICE, once in the hotel and once at the outlet mall, but I can't remember what I said.

That lady that was willing to go to jail on her "birfday" cuz Candance screamed at her, "SISTER, you just need to shut your piehole RIGHT NOW" well, for all her bitching and moaning about Candance cutting in line, she had someone with her that CUT IN LINE TOO y'all...hell to the yes she did but I was so shocked about the whole incident that I didn't really realize that had happened until we left. Also, while all the yelling was going on, Candance slammed her Amp drink down on the shelf thing and when I heard that noise, I turned to look at her, saw her bending down, and I thought to myself, OH MY HELL SHE'S GETTING HER PURPLE SWITCHBLADE!!! All the while, poor Gracie thought Candance was taking her shoe off to beat that bitch with it...y'all, I swear when this was all over, I thought I may die from laughing cuz it was so HI-LARIOUS...not kidding...and that lady, the one who's "birfday" it was, well, I swear to the little baby jeebus she was stalking us the rest of the damn day cuz everywhere we went, there she was with her posse, including the lady that DID cut in line, while this "birfday" girl was bitching about Candance cutting when she wasn't!!!

Oh...one last thing...Candance DID say that she wished she would see an outlet mall security person cuz she would SO be telling them that the "birfday" girl and her posse were stalking us and we were kind of afraid and would like for the security people to deal with them for us. OH YES SHE DID SAY THAT TO ME.

It was fun times y'all, fun times! I missed out on the Vodka Tea stuff and sleeping with Crazy and Rusty cuz I had a family thing and missing out on that stuff makes me sad but it's ok cuz soon enough, I'll be sharing a hotel with both of them and Michelle. That night will make for lots of blog fodder, at least I'm fairly certain it will...bwahahahahaha

This one time, at the outlet mall...

2010-08-25T08:22:00.000-05:00

Candance, Leiah, and I met up FINALLY!!! Go HERE to read all about it, DO IT, it's worth it, I PROMISE and Aunt Crazy would never ever lie to you!

AARRRGGGHHHH

2010-08-25T07:47:00.001-05:00

Traffic...you can suck it...that is all.

2010 first day of school

2010-08-24T13:16:00.000-05:00

The boy is a SENIOR...and he was so NOT happy about me taking his picture. Too bad mister, I've done it every first day of school and this year was no exception. The girl, she's an 8th grader this year.

I have no idea WTF was wrong with my camera yesterday morning but the pics ALL came out crappy and that pissed me the hell off. Maybe, as part of my whole purpose in life to annoy my children, I'll make them pretend that tonight was the first day of school, or tomorrow morning, and take MORE PICTURES.

bwaaahahahahaha

I have to please my readers, right? I know y'all want to see pics and pics and more pics of my kids, RIGHT???

Fawk You Friday

2010-08-20T10:05:00.004-05:00

I know, I know...two posts in one day, but I owe Jennifer Juniper some make up ~~sex~~ posts, so here we are, two posts in one day!!! Stacy and I were emailing back and forth and apparently she could hear my frustrations, so she told me to take part in Fawk You Friday, so here I am...LOL!

So, here's my list

to whiny people that complain about not feeling like part of the group, all the while refusing to PARTicipate in that group...fawk ou
to the same whiny people that start shit on FB (more than once) and then delete their comments (more than once) and then unfriend people that had nothing to do with the whole situation...fawk you
to the same whiny people that are grown as women acting like junior high girls...fawk you

Seriously...I want to be friends, I like having friends, the more the merrier, but I'm no longer going to sit by and be accused of not being someone's friend when they make no fucking effort to be my friend...it's a two way street my friends and I'm done with it...DONE!!!

FAWK YOU!!!

To read another blogger that loves to use my fav word, fuck, click the button below...

Letters of Intent 08/20/10

2010-08-20T09:48:00.000-05:00

It's that time, time to write the letters you need to write to get that stuff you need to get off your chest, well, off your chest. They can be heartfelt or snarky, it's up to you and don't forget to click the button to go in search of the letters written by other awesome bloggers, including the BLOG DOMINATOR herself, Julie of Foursons!!!

Dear headaches,
You have been coming more frequently, and while I say headache, I'm really starting to believe these are migraines. I don't like them and they hurt.

Go away from my head please!!!

Love,
Aunt Crazy whose head is still throbbing 36 hours later

Dear school clothes shopping,
I'm done with you, be gone, go away, leave me in peace...please!

Love,
Aunt Crazy

Dear bitch on the freeway this morning,
Honey, you looked kind of young to me. Your driving was awful. Put the phone down and pay attention to the road. Oh AND...slow the fuck down! For ME to tell anyone to slow down is the pot calling the kettle black, so if you were driving (or attempting to) faster than me, you need to slow down, just sayin!

When you whip in an out of lanes, cutting me off at least once causing me to flash my bright lights at you as I slammed my brakes, then slam your brakes because the cars in front of you don't want to drive faster than the 80 MPH they are already going, you cause issues in traffic, which the lovely city of Houston already has and doesn't need more of, so just SLOW DOWN!!!

Don't make me have to go all Aunt Crazy on your ass!

Love (notsoverymuch),
Aunt Crazy

It's Wednesday

2010-08-18T14:46:00.000-05:00

Hump day...YAY!!!

I'm struggling to catch up from a week away from home, work, life...it sucks. I missed my bloggy friends and I've been trying hard to read all the blogs I missed and comment them and all that junk but it's hard, cuz y'all like to blog, a LOT!

The girl is at the waterpark today with her aunt, uncle, and cousin. The boy is still all bandaged up from surgery, so he couldn't go. He needs to get out! He and I were going to ride some go-carts, but we couldn't find any near us...that sucked, plus, who doesn't want to make up a lie to get out of work to hang with their kid go-cart racing...duh...we all do!!!

I promise to get back to regular blogging and commenting and all that jazz as soon as I can take a freakin breath again.

I'm also supposed to be setting up a FaceBook thingy for my blog but I don't really know how and I haven't had time to figure it all out yet, but I will...I promise...soon...LOL

Apparently...I've been missed

2010-08-16T12:59:00.000-05:00

Jennifer Juniper has her panties all in a wad cuz I've gone off the blogging radar without telling her about it...LMAO

She started with this post...

http://lilacsinherhair.blogspot.com/2010/08/oh-where-oh-where-has-aunt-crazy-gone.html

Then went so far as to involve the PoPo y'all...

http://lilacsinherhair.blogspot.com/2010/08/missing-persons-report.html

I'm so glad that someone noticed I was missing and these two posts made me laugh today, on a day when I dreaded returning to work and have been whiny all day because of that fact.

I was in Atlanta for Property Tax School. Yes, that's right, Property Tax School, how much more fun and exciting can my life possibly get???

I promise to notify y'all if I ever need to leave again, although, I planned to blog while I was gone, but that damn school kicked Aunt Crazy's ASS all the way from Atlanta to Houston and back!!!

Letters of Intent and Friday Follow 08/06/10

2010-08-06T07:58:00.003-05:00

It's time for Letters of Intent with Julie at Foursons and hooking up with the best Friday Follow ever...seriously!

Dear Uncle Bubba,
Please try to find some work life balance. I miss you, the kids miss you, and I need help with these teenagers...just sayin

Thanks...I love you!

Love,
Aunt Crazy

Dear Chance,
When I tell you to do something, just do it...mmmmkay...got it...good!

Love,
Momma Crazy

Dear Savanna,
When you get pissy, do not use that tone with me...mmmmkay...got it...good!

Love,
Momma Crazy

BYE BYE to my boyfriend

2010-08-04T13:26:00.000-05:00

In case y'all didn't know, I'm a Houston Astros fan, not by choice, but because I live here and all and that's what was on the tv when I was growing up, so I heart me some Houston Astros. I'm not a fair-weather fan either, I love them when they win and when they lose. Over the years, I've grown to love Lance Berkman, the former 1st baseman for my beloved Houston Astros. I affectionately refer to him as my boyfriend as does anyone who knows me...LOL Now, he doesn't know he's my boyfriend, seeing as how I've never met him or anything but he is cuz I say so, so there...HA

Until Friday night, when I heard the horrible news that he was being trading to the New York Yankees. This news crushed my beating heart. This news had me immediately posting to Facebook and texting my loved ones. I had to ask, do I break up with my boyfriend Lance or become a Yankees Fan??? The answer by everyone was unequivocally, break up with Lance. Do not use this as an excuse to go to New York for a visit and catch a Yanks game to see my sweet little cutie pie Lance, and in no way, shape, form, or fashion am I EVER supposed to use the words Yankee and fan in the same sentence much less one right after the other. When I claimed that I loved him cuz he's my boyfriend and all, I was told to just remember that he left me and that I'm supposed to now hate the Yankees more than EVER for being boyfriend stealers.

Sigh...I'll miss you Lance...

Guest posting today...YAY ME!!!

2010-08-03T05:00:00.001-05:00

Today, I'm over HERE, guest posting for Single Mom in the South while she travels up north for a vacation! I love her blog and I'm so glad I found it recently. So, go on, get on outta here, and head to her place to read my post. While your there, take a look around at her posts, she's got some great ones!!!

Update

2010-07-31T16:20:00.000-05:00

The surgery went well and Chance is doing well. He's tired of hanging out with me and ready to go hang with his friends, although I think driving is not going to be exactly a great idea with only one hand available...LOL We'll see if Uncle Bubba lets him drive the jeep, cuz Chance's truck is a standard, no way he's driving that! Thanks for all the thoughts, prayer, emails, and texts. I really appreciate it!!!

Going to be MIA

2010-07-28T14:41:00.000-05:00

My son is having surgery on his left hand tomorrow morning. I don't know that I'll be online to blog or anything. I will be texting friends with his status and I will blog as soon as I can, but that may be Monday or Tuesday. I do have email on my crackberry if anyone just decides they are missing me sooooooo badly that they can't wait for my next blog post, feel free to email me at

aunt crazy here @ yahoo . com

LOL

Wednesday stuff

2010-07-28T07:52:00.001-05:00

Today, I'm linking up with Shell for Pour Your Heart Out and Julie for Working Mom Wednesday. Both of these bloggers are full of the awesomesauce.

I'm using Julia's prompt about what I wanted to be when I grew up and it is a PYHO post because it comes from my heart.

I wanted to be many things when I grew up. I changed my mind often. I've always felt older than I really was. I guess some people call that being an "old soul" and I would have to agree to an extent. I stick true to my Virgo nature by being an obsessive list maker, needing a plan, craving organization. I also have an outgoing personality, bubbly even sometimes, friendly, and I've never met a stranger. These seem like two completely different personality types when I read them to myself and maybe Uncle Bubba is right when he claims I have multiple personalities...LOL I can remember wanting to be a Kindergarten teacher, a singer, a dancer, a CPA, an attorney, so many different things. I can remember wanting to go to college, then thinking that I'd never have the money for Texas A&M and deciding that I would join the Peace Corp and give in to my hidden, inner tree hugger. One thing I never wanted to be was a mom. There are so many reasons, some personal, some crazy, some rational, some irrational, some selfless, and some selfish, but all the same, I said I didn't want to have any kids. Now, I can't imagine how I ever thought that, how I ever imagined myself not being a mom. As all moms do, much of myself was sacrificed by becoming a mom and I continue to sacrifice in so many ways every day. Sacrifices I willingly make and sacrifices I begrudingly make. I wouldn't change it though. I would make the same choices time and time again if it meant I'd have my kids over and over and over again. Even on the days that I feel that I've utterly and completely failed at being a mom, my kids let me know that I haven't, that they love me and need me and that even when I struggle, I'm still the very best mom they have. They rock my socks!

True Story Tuesday

2010-07-27T07:46:00.001-05:00

Brought to you by Rachel and Mr. Daddy, it's time for TST!!! Read my funny story, then click on over to read theirs and more...it's always a treat!!!

When Savanna was about 9 or so, she told me that she needed to ask me a serious question. I panicked, but only a little, because seriously, what could be more shocking than "hair down there"? She, very seriously, looked at me (nearly eye level at this point cuz now she's WAY taller than me) and said, "What is a period, and I do NOT mean the one at the end of a sentence?" Oh my hell y'all, I was trying so hard not to laugh, but knew I had to tell her. We talked about it and she said that her and her friends wanted to know but no one would ask their mom so she said she would. I warned her that it wasn't her place to tell her friends, it was their parents place, but I'm pretty sure that she schooled her friends the next day about what a period is, and not the one at the end of a sentence...LOL

Monday Minute 07/26/10

2010-07-26T15:00:00.001-05:00

I'm getting a late start today with the Monday Minute but better late than never, right? RIGHT?????

Kmama at The Daily Dribbles is co-hosting with Ian today. These two ask questions and eagerly await Aunt Crazy's responses, y'all been waiting all day huh? On pins and needles I bet, but wait no more cuz Aunt Crazy is here now!!! LOL

1. Who is your "what-if" person? I'm married to him...sorry nothing juicy to add here.

2. What is your nickname? Aunt Crazy

3. If you could choose how you died, how would you like to die? Peacefully, in my sleep, so that I don't feel scared.

4. If you could have named yourself, which name would you have picked? OMG who the hell knows...LOL I didn't even get to give my children the names I wanted...

5. Who were you named after or for what reason did your parents choose your name? Christy is a name my mom liked and my middle name (which is never ever to be spoken or shared) is the same as my mom and several other family members.

M&P River Trip 2010: the 2nd

2010-07-23T10:12:00.004-05:00

We hit the Riverwalk in San Antonio where we had dinner at Dick's. That was well worth the wait! The waiters there behave like assholes and make hats for the customers. The hats were hilarious and our waiter was the BOMB!!! After that, we hit Coyote Ugly for some dancing on the bar...woohooo!!!!!

Canada Stacy, as Leiah calls her, is also blogging about the River Trip...head on over there to read her point of view...LOL

So even though I was nearly murdered by the river behind our house that is made for chilling, we decided to go into New Braunfels for some real floatin the river in a tube and all with all the other folks. The lovely Rockin R had more floaters than ever before, even on a holiday, so they told us. We floated, met lots of pretty cool strangers, only nearly lost one momma to the river when the beer tube she was attached too for her safety pulled her tube into a huge piling, where she was thrown from her tube into the piling and left to float the river without her tube or the beer tube. She was shaken but survived and we floated on down to the end where all holy hell broke loose!!! We got in line for the bus for a ride back to our cars, mind you we are a group of 11 women. People are lining up, no biggie, and we should be on the 3rd bus, maybe the 4th, but it's all good. UNTIL the idiots from the back of the line and the other idiots getting out of the river after everyone else began pushing and shoving and mauling their way onto the bus. It was a nightmare. The poor Rockin R employee trying to control the crowd was doing the best he could. The crowd was getting bigger and bigger and more and more outta control. People were screaming and yelling, pushing and shoving, hell some were even throwin full beer cans at line cutters! I finally decided that the police officers that were on the other side of the crowd, standing around, shootin the shit needed to do some police work and attempt to control the crowd. I went up to the biggest one and I told him that it was getting out of control. He did go over, but the police never even managed to get the crowd under control. One guy got tasered and arrested, a police man's leg/knee were injured, it was awful. One of our mommas began to feel really bad, so she was allowed on the bus with some small kids. She and another momma went to get the cars and come back for us because standing in that line was dangerous to our health and Aunt Crazy was about to lose her temper on some line cuttin bitches. We left the house about 1:30pm to go for a 3 hour float and got back to the house about 9:30pm...it was a LONG ass day!!!

The next day some of the group hit the river behind the house, you know the one that tried to kill me, while some of the group hit the outlet mall!!!

Aunt Crazy hit the Coach store and scored BIG!!!

That night we had JELLO SHOTS and drunk texts with Crazy Texas Mommy (I was drunk, not her), drunk dialing, and tons of fun. I had 10 jello shots and managed to walk to bed y'all...fun times!!!

More to come...

M&P River Trip 2010

2010-07-21T14:04:00.000-05:00

I only almost died this one time during the river trip. The current attempted to kidnap my fat ass and toss me over a 30 foot waterfall where I would have died a horrid, broken, bloody death for sure...BUT...my bitches rock and when I got too tired to paddle against that bitch current, they came after me with tubes, floaties, and some rope. I was begging for a smoke and shouting that they should really tell my kids I love them and that my car would be paid off upon my death and that one of the daughters of the mom's could have it when the current and the Guadalupe River conspired to kidnap me in a vile, murderous plot to do me in. HA river, suck it cuz my bitches rock and they saved my soul from the depths of the Guadalupe River HELL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA we fought the river and the bitches won yo!!!

A little history, the first time we met in person was in 2003. We headed out to dinner at a local restaurant with a band and small dance floor. Now, realize, we attract attention in general. A large group of women, ranging in size, color, age, and style, we attract attention and of course, we hug and fondle each other wildly while making inapproriate jokes...LOL So, the hostest was the lady in the red dress...LOL She asks how we met and we say the internet. She leans in and whispers are y'all one of those Lesbian Internet Groups??? We cracked up and explained that no, we were a group of moms from all over the US and Canada. However, LIG was born and never to be forgotten.

So, this year, we get to the house and find a broken window. We call the owners and they send their son out who couldn't have been a day over 22 and he was just precious. I mention to him that the house had been remodeled some since last year and then tell him that this was our third year to rent the house. He asks if we are family. I say no, we met online and are an internet moms group. He whips around, eyes WIDE, and says that he was so glad I mentioned being a moms group because he was about to ask if we met on EHARMONY...LMFAO!!! Oh the fun we had with e-harmony all weekend...

This was all in the first 24 hours y'all...more to come...I promise!!!!!!!!

Awards...

2010-07-21T13:17:00.003-05:00

I was given two awards recently so I thought I would share them today instead. I promise I'm writing the river trip post but it's going to take TIME people...TIME!!!

Anyway, moving along to the awards.

Canada Stacy gave me the Plastic Joy award...woohoo I have to list five people I would "bang" for the fun of it and pass it along to five people. NICE

There is my next ex-husband, George Strait...swoon! He's known as the King of Country and the King of Texas. I saw him for the first time at age 13, which was also my first concert EVER!

Then there is my boyfriend, Lance Berkman, he's so cute and when the Astros had this camera thingy in the dugout or oh his ballcap or something for several games, I learned that he is REALLY funny, not as funny as me or anything, but funny!!!

Next we have Tim McGraw...oooh la la...as long as he leaves his hat on...sweet!

After Tim, I'd take a turn with Kenny Chesney...on his private island!

Finally, I'd want Kid Rock to have his way with me...WOWZA!!!

The next award I was given came from Dionne and she made this award up and it's GREAT! It's the Naughty or Nice award!

The rules are going to be fairly simple. All you have to do is answer the 10 questions. And pick 10 people (or if you're feeling "Naughty" you can just do 5, or none at all) to pass it along to, then let them know that you've given it to them!

1. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone? - OH MY HELL...I've pulled plenty but with that whole youngest person with Alzheimer's that plaques me, I can't remember much...LOL

2. If you could take a trip anywhere out of the country where would you go? Why? I would go to Austrailia cuz I love the accent.

3. Who plays the most influential role in your life? My kids, each in their own way.

4. Are you ok with your significant other being friends with an ex? Sure, jealousy is such a waste of positive energy and a drain on your soul.

5. Favorite candle scent? Vanilla

6. Next movie you're excited about seeing? uhmmmm I dunno

7. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban? "like" even though I use it all the damn time...LOL

8. Do you have any relatives in jail? Not at this moment, well, not that I know of anyway...

9. What crazy fads were popular when you were a teenager. Big hair, white rain hairspray, lord, I can't remember all the crap we thought was sooooo cool...LMFAO!

10. Have you ever been mentioned in a newspaper or on TV? Not that I know of...

Since I'm NAUGHTY, I'm going to give BOTH awards to the same FIVE people, cuz I'm a crazy bitch like that...bwaahahahahahaha!!!

Jennifer
Cass
Foursons
Ian
Jennifer Juniper

So run along now and accept your awards, blog about them, and SHARE THE LOVE PEOPLE!!!

Aunt Crazy is back

2010-07-21T09:25:00.000-05:00

The last 6 days were heavenly! My bitches and I had a great time together. We even thought ahead and had a notebook to write things down for the blog!!! I'm trying to catch up at work, then I'll get the post ready, with pictures (maybe) for y'all to see how much fun we had and be all jealous cuz that's how I roll or maybe I'll just post this and then wait and see who's willing to beg or pay me for the deets from the river trip!!!

TOMORROW TOMORROW I LOVE YOU TOMORROW!!!

2010-07-14T14:37:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, I'm picking up some of my bitches at the airport and we'll make the drive to the river to meet the rest of my bitches and the momma party will start! We'll spend the next several days being responsible for no one but ourselves. We'll catch up cuz it's been a year since we've seen each other. We'll drink and smoke and cuss and act like school girls cuz, well, WE CAN!!! I'll be back to blogging on Wednesday and maybe, if y'all play nice, really really nice, I'll share some funny stories and pictures...

Blogfia shout out...

2010-07-13T09:00:00.002-05:00

From GunDiva:

T!nK at This Is How It Feels has applied to be on a documentary about being gay in America. I think he's got a good story to tell, especially about how he was discharged from the Army under Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Part of how the documentary is cast is based on public voting. What I'm asking of my Blogfia family members is to vote for T!nK (real name: Nathanael) daily and repost this if you'd be so kind. He's currently in second place, behind a woman who has also applied, but who is not gay. Yeah, go figure. She's applied to be on a documentary called "Out in America", which will highlight life as a GLBT person in America and she's straight.

Featured Host on Friday Follow today!!!

2010-07-13T07:57:00.001-05:00

BONUS...this is my 150th post and I'm being featured at the Friday Follow website.

This Friday Follow is great because it encourages people to meet and comment and get to know one another, not just follow for the sake of following.

Go...get on outta here and go see me over HERE!!!

TST 07/13/10

2010-07-13T07:43:00.000-05:00

The other night, Uncle Bubba and I were in bed watching TV and of course, our favorite child, the dog, Pancho was in bed with us. The two of them get to playing and wrestling in the bed. Me, I dive under the covers to keep the dog from pouncing on my head, as he's prone to do. He is 60 pounds and that is HEAVY when jumping onto one's head...just sayin! So, out of nowhere, Pancho takes a flying leap over Uncle Bubba and in the most swift snake move EVAH, bites Uncle Bubba right on the ass. OMG y'all!!! I seriously laughed until I cried and choked from being unable to breathe properly. Once I caught my breath, I did what any caring, loving wife would do, well one named Aunt Crazy anyway, I went straight to Facebook to post about it...bwahahahahaha!!!

Click the button up top for more True Story Tuesday reads!!!

Monday Minute hosted by A Daily Scoop of Chaos!!!

2010-07-12T07:25:00.000-05:00

Jen from http://www.adailyscoopofchaos.com/ is hosting this week by herself - her blog will have the linky, not Ian's. She won the right during the Mission Monkey raffle. Link up as next week the co-hosts return. Jen wrote all these questions this week..duh.

1. Can you burp the ABC's? nope

2. So lets just say you have a 9+ hour drive ahead of you would you consider wearing Depends so you didn't have to stop multiple times? I would definitely stop, no depends for me...LMFAO

3. Would you rather...run your tongue down five feet of a NYC street or press your tongue into a strangers nostril? OMG, I'd prolly pick the street but either way most likely I'd be tossing cookies LOL

4. If you had an envelope that contained the date you would die would you open it? hell to the effin NO

5. Which one song describes your sex life best? I have no idea...

LOI 07/09/10

2010-07-09T08:23:00.000-05:00

Dear car salesman,
When you tell me that I need to bring my car on a Tuesday evening, to be repaired on Wednesday because the guy who does that specific type of repair ONLY works on Wednesday, then try to keep my car an extra day because of rain, please don't think that I won't question WHY on earth that repair guy will be there on a Thursday when you said he ONLY works on Wednesdays. When you tell me you'll give me a "loaner" don't expect me to NOT get pissy when I leave my HOT sporty car with you and you give me a damn Hyundai to drive...it has an ECO warning and slows down when you drive it like I drive all cars! When I want to go fast, I don't care about the environment in that moment, and that ECO warning pisses me off. So, please, do not be surprised when I insist that you repair my car in the time you said you would, rain or not, because I do not want to continue driving a crappy car, when I just paid a fortune for a HOT car...got it mmmmkaythanks!

Sincerely,
Aunt Crazy who got her HOT car back by bringing on the Aunt Crazy with the salesman

Friday Follow: Building Friendship One Blog Hop at a Time – July 9th

2010-07-09T07:37:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the 7th Friday Follow hosted by our awesome hostesses, Crayon Wrangler from Coloring Outside the Lines, Christy from Aunt Crazy’s Here Y’ALL, and Danielle from A Peek Inside. Thank you ladies for being willing to host! Please stop by and see these awesome ladies.

We invite you to join us every Friday to get more blog followers and to find many interesting blogs that you like. This is all about sharing and having fun.

We expect you to be on your honor and to have fun. These are only guidelines to make it more enjoyable for you. Here’s how YOU can join the Friday Follow celebration:

Link up your blog below.. One Link per blog
Grab our Friday Follow button include on your side bar, or post.. grab the linky information if you want it
Follow the Friday-Follow blog and the hostesses in slots 1, 2 & 3 that have volunteered today to host
Follow the blogs you want, leave comment saying you are from Friday Follow – use common courtesy
No spammers, or xxrated blogs - family friendly

If you need more guidelines about following see Friday-Follow.com

This list is new each week and closes on Saturday at 11:59pm EST. The links do not carry over. Please link up each week for new participants to find your blogs. It will be visible all week to visit the blogs listed.

Congratulations to our Three Friday Follow Winners!!!

#7 - http://www.lildavismichael.blogspot.com/
#8 - http://toddlerawesome.blogspot.com/
#9 - http://veryirie.blogspot.com/

Each week we will randomly draw from three (3) blogs from the links for the next week’s Friday Follow, and each blog chosen will be placed in the highly coveted number #7, #8, and #9 position on the blog hop. The first blog chosen will also be given the option of doing an interview which will post on Friday-Follow.com on Thursday the next week. We love your participation and want to give back to you! You could be next!

Also, let us know how we are doing and what ideas you have by taking our Survey.

Want to advertise on our site and be seen by thousands of people? If you sign up TODAY Advertising is $5 per spot. You must sign up today to qualify. This offer expires at midnight CST. Ads normally cost $10. Find out more information.

Spread the word about Friday Follow by grabbing our button for your blog and linky and come celebrate again every Friday. Feel free to also send out a tweet, blog, stumble or share the news in your own special way!

If you are interested in being a sponsor for Friday-Follow, please fill out the sponsorship form here.

Today's sponsor is Tiffany from Fashion in the Forest. She is offering a Zombie Candle from her Etsy shop- at http://www.etsy.com/listing/46556500/pain-de-banane-8oz.

It's an 8 oz. banana bread scented candle. All Zombee Candles are made with 100% soy wax - no paraffin! Cotton, no-lead wicks and non-diluted fragrance oils make burning our candles a clean and wonderful experience!

Have a product to promote? Become a sponsorGot a meme or to promote? LIST YOUR LINKY!/ See the Linky ListingGot a giveaway going on? List it here

Advertise on our site- learn how here

NEW! If you are hosting a Friday Meme- be sure to list it on the Friday Meme Linky below.

Also! Join us for our new weekend comment club!

Thanks so much for your support and Happy Commenting!

One more week

2010-07-08T14:00:00.000-05:00

In 7 days, I'll be picking up some of my "mom friends" from the airport and we'll be heading to the river to meet the rest of the "moms" for our annual get away. I can't wait!!! We've been counting down for the last 90 days and anyone who has me on Yahoo IM knows this because I've been updating it daily!!!

We hang out in the river behind the house, float the river, shop the outlets, bar hop, and behave like adults who have no responsibilities. It's a GREAT time y'all!!!! We've done this since 2003, although we met online in 2000, we didn't get together until 2003. In 2005, we skipped getting together and that was AWFUL and we vowed to never ever skip again!

I'm so thrilled to see them every summer. This summer, I plan to have a smoke in one hand and an adult beverage in the other the whole time. I'm not going to be designated driver on bar night either, so someone better be prepared to step up and take my place.

Working Mommy Wednesday and Pour Your Heart Out

2010-07-07T08:06:00.002-05:00

I found a new blog today and I liked it and I liked this blog carnival she's got going, so I thought I'd join in. I've been thinking about writing something about this topic for awhile and her meme got my brain going. Her name is Julia and her blog is Work, Wife, Mom...Life (Supermom in training)!

I'm also linking this up with Shell at Things I Can't Say for Pour Your Heart Out!

Mommy Guilt is a powerful thing. I've been dealing with it a long time, cuz my kids are 17 and 13. I don't really think I struggle with it much anymore. I have moments where I feel guilty about stuff, but it's over things I can't change and I move along quickly, but when they were younger, I felt it so often. It's gut wrenching and causes so much heartache. Mostly, I've realized now, it's unnecessary and not helpful and it is really a waste of positive energy. When I was growing up, my mom worked. I always thought to myself, when I grow up, I'll never work, I'll stay home, my kids will be car riders (not bus riders), I'll have the perfect life, perfect house and it will be sparkling clean, and I'll cook and bake and sew and just be "that" mom, the perfect one I created in my mind, the one that most likely, no matter how hard we try, can never really exist. It's too much for any one person to handle...EVER. Then I decided, while in my tree hugging phase of life, that I didn't want children. That I could never be the mom I imagined I'd be and that I didn't want to bring children into the world as I saw it through my young eyes. I wanted to go to college, Texas A&M to be exact, and become an accountant or a lawyer, and have a lot of money and my own things, things that I thought would make me feel good about myself and things that would make me happy. HA guess who got knocked up in high school...yep, ME...LOL and of course when you get pregnant, married, start a family at that young of an age, work becomes a necessity. I felt guilty when my son was at daycare, I felt guilty when I was at work wishing I was with him, then I felt guilty when I was happy that I was at work and he was at daycare. A few years later, we added a daughter to our family and I went back to work when she was 3 months old. The guilt, it was BACK...only double but in the same fashion. I would take vacation days to go on field trips and to attend school events. I was at every ball practice and ball game for both kids when the time came. I skipped out of work early to see their junior high and high school events. And still, I felt guilty sometimes. Guilty for not being at their beck and call because I was at work. Guilty for not being at work because I was away being a mom. Guilty because I enjoy working and the benefits it gives our family and the fun things we get to do because I work. It is always there but now I'm good at shooing it away because I know, deep down, we are better off as a family because I worked. For our family, it worked best, for other families they must do what works best for them. I struggle with moms not supporting each other and the choices they make for their families. I don't understand why moms, especially moms, can't find it in their hearts to be more supportive of each other. No matter the choice, working/staying home, breast/bottle, cloth/disposable, the list is endless and I think that lack of support causes most of the guilt we feel. We pressure ourselves and feel guilty others put pressure on us and we feel guilty. BUT (and there always is one) at the end of the day, we have to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and know we did the best we could with what we had based on the needs of our own families. I think lately I have been feeling guilty over things I missed when they were infants and toddlers. First steps, first potty time, first anything that I may have missed while I was working and they were at daycare. I can't get those times back and feeling guilty about it does not help. I had all those firsts at home. It may have been their first time, second time, or even the 10th time, but for me, it was the first and I celebrated each and every time.

Guilt...it's like a parasite. It can eat you up from the inside out, but only if you let it, if you stand strong in your belief that what you do or did is the best for your family, then forcing that guilt out of your mind, your heart, your soul is so easy!!!

Letters of Intent 07/02/10

2010-07-02T13:12:00.000-05:00

Dear 17 year old son,
I know you think you can fight off the speeding ticket, but seriously, you aren't going to win. I don't care if you were going 7 miles over (like you say) or 19 miles over (like the trooper says) and I don't care if it was 2am and no work was going on in the work zone. Requesting deferred is the best way to handle this. It keeps this off your driving record and keeps our insurance premiums from going up. I know you think you were not speeding or breaking the work zone laws and while I believe you were speeding, I do agree it's ridiculous to try and fine you extra for being in a work zone when no work was going on, but still, traveling 3 hours or more each way for a minimum of one court date, but most likely 2 or 3 total is not worth it. I know you think you are old enough to take care of this on your own, at the lovely age of 17, but do you really think a judge is going to believe you over the state trooper? Do you really think he's even going to LISTEN to a word you have to say? Please, for the love of firecrackers, listen to me and shut the hell up about this!

Love,
Momma